Worst Movies

Kaine Mandaala

16-03-2006 09:06:48

What are some of the worst movies you've ever seen?

Recently I sat through Master of Disguise starring Dana Carvey and even though I really had nothing better to do I wanted my wasted time back. This flick was just piss poor, where even the "funny" moments weren't good. The few things that really stick out as mildly amusing are just some of the impressions (Quint from Jaws for one) but otherwise it was all just stupid.

Another that ranks up there among the worst films I've sat through is White Noise starring Michael Keaton. Too bad though - I saw many ways they could have rewritten things to make it worlds better. I even rewrote the plot and submitted it to another forum that was discussing it.


17-03-2006 16:21:20

You Got Served = Worst Movie Ever.

Baron Zarco

21-03-2006 21:46:57

Remains of the Day

Maybe the movie taught a good lesson about waiting so long that one's best opportunity passes but I personally wanted to eviscerate the two stooges who wasted theior lives in service to a master who did not give a damn about them when they could have followed their love and "been somebody."

If you think that service to a worthless cause, to the point of losing the love of one's life, is good then you will love this movie. If you are any kind of a risk taker who believes that one should follow his love then you will be fit to be tied like me.

I do not like sad movies. I watch movies to escape and be entertained. I want high body count and the guy and the girl to ride off together (hopefully after killing everyone who got in the way).

Bottom line - Yoda sat and smiled through the whole thing and then went back to his monastery. Han Solo shot the screen out and went and got some off Leia in the parking lot.

Nuff said.


22-03-2006 07:08:45

The remake of "War of the Worlds", the one with Tom Cruise.

The entire movie seemed to consist of some people running away, and some stuff blowing up. Then the people run away and hide for a little while and some more stuff blows up. Then they run some more. No thanks.


27-03-2006 09:47:22

I am kind of a move....specialist. I am a film editor and I have a collection of close to 1000 movies in my house. So I believe my opinion might be respected and not critized. Here are my 5 worst movies.

5. Star Wars Episode I (did not even come close to matching the same effect IV V and VI had on me)

4. The Exorsist (New One)

3. The Ring

2. The Ring 2

1. The Haunted

Wes Biriuk

29-03-2006 04:19:03

Looks like you don't like the horror/thriller genre :P


30-03-2006 09:08:41

Actually I am a big fan of Amityville Horror, Saw I/II, and The Devils Rejects. Another bad horror movie, which me being an avid gamer, that pissed me off, was Doom. The whole basis of Doom was that Hell was escaping into reality, and they completely ruined it with a GENETIC thing. GOD DAMMIT, it has nothing to do with it.

Baron Zarco

30-03-2006 23:11:32

Thanks for throwing Doom on the stinky cart of death. That was exactly my reaction as the "plot" unfolded, or rather, fell in the floor stillborn. What a joke.

I remember playing Doom from the very beginning. Awesome!!! I still have all of the add-ons and all, especially the one the came in the crate of ammo marked 5.56. I just cannot get any modern hardware to run it.

While we are at it let's throw all of the Batman movies except for the recent one "Batman Begins" and the Michael Keaton "Batman" first episode on the same cart. Oh yeah, Spiderman also, especially the second one.

There is something seriously wrong with most comic to movie translations, e.g. the only way to understand Spiderman is to understand his guilt over Uncle Ben but also over the death of his first love Gwen Stacy. Gwen (died during a fight with the Green Goblin when her neck snapped from Spiderman's webbing not being elastic enough when he used it to try and save her from a fall from the Brooklyn Bridge) has been written out of the story. That makes it a whole new character. WTF. One cannot even begin to understand the Mary Jane character without the Gwen history.

I'm getting too old.

Kaine Mandaala

31-03-2006 10:30:54

I thought the same thing about the "Mary Jane but no Gwen Stacy" bit but pretty much accepted that the general movie going public is too dumb to deal with a concept that complex. And God forbid we introduce a hot chick character only to have them killed off -- sorry Uncle Ben, you're just not a hot chick.

The Spider-Man film series makes Spider-Man comic fans do something they don't want to do: seperate everything they know and absorb these films as a retelling. Venom in the next one will be kind of shady since I imagine they won't bother mentioning Secret Wars. They'll probably make the symbiote a military experiment. Why it will hate Spider-Man will be purely film-made fiction.

It's amazing the movie public sat through all 3 LOTR flicks... and even still those were cut down to appeal to the general movie crowd. All three Directors Cut versions back to back takes about 12.5 hours. People who have no more than a passing interest aren't going to sit still that long.


31-03-2006 11:59:34

Worst movie?

Carnaval of Souls... :'(
What a pile of O-) that was.

I didn't really like 'Shaving Rayens Private' either. ;)

Muz Ashen

31-03-2006 12:01:56

I'll be honest.

I refused to read LotR until I saw the first movie in the theaters.

Then, I went all pit-bull on the books, the extended versions, etc. Hell, the LOTR extended versions are what convinced me to get a dvd player. honestly.

The state of hollywood in general however, has gotten worse and worse. Excepting the LotR movies, I've seen very few *good* movies in the last five years.

The industry has gotten too bloated, too complacent...and that's one of the major reasons that they are fighting piracy so hard. They simply can't compete. Well, without making better movies...but then again, they don't want to do that. :P


31-03-2006 12:12:23

Muzz has a good point...!!!
Not many good movies in the past 5 years.
And as for LotR well, I've read anything from Hobbit to the Silmarillion.
The story of the movies is completely diffrent from the books.

but oh well.

It's just entertainment, right? :ermm:


31-03-2006 12:49:45

Well it all comes down to money with LOTR. THey knew not many people would sit through a 4 hour movie, so they removed some things that were in the book, or in the case of Shelob put her in an entirely different one. As for game and comic movies they say that they dont want the viewing public to see the same thing that they saw in such video game/movie, thats why they dont do a perfect recreation. Yea I know that sucks, but will Hollywood start doing things the right way? Nope.


Andan Taldrya Marshall

31-03-2006 15:21:59

I HATE movie-based video games, I refuse to play them. When I play a game I want a story where I don't already know the ending. If a game were made set during a movie but dealt with events that weren't directly depicted in the movie, or focused on a character who didn't get much screen time but it was implied that they did a lot that wasn't shown, that I could deal with. For example I wouldn't buy or play a game that was a transcription of EP2, but if LA made a game that was set during EP2, or close to it, and followed say Count Dooku then I'd think about the game as long as it was well produced and followed all other criteria that we usually judge games by.


01-04-2006 07:43:37

I just hope the Halo movie isn't going to be [Expletive Deleted F-word]ed up. Peter Jackson's working on it, and after seeing the work he did on King Kong (One of my fav movies) I am a little less stressed about it. I actually liked Saving Private Ryan, I thought it was extremely real, down to earth.


02-04-2006 07:44:39

I went to see V for Vendetta.
My expetations were very low. Even though I knew the 'devine miss P' was in it.
But I must admit... It was fantastic.
Sharp dialog, good camera work, an actual story-line, and Hugo Weaving getting a way with fine acting without ever taking of that cool/dreadfull mask.

Plus John Hurt!!!

I was very impressed.

Bad movie...?
bad, very very bad!!!

not bad as is cool
bad as in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggrrrrhhh......
that bad...
\sorry about that :$

Xayun Erinos

03-04-2006 07:29:30

Worst movies?
Plan 9 From Outer Space. That movie really is terrible, and not in the 'so-bad-it's-funny' way everyone says it is.

On LOTR, I read the books after the first movie came out. Wasn't really into it, it's too long-winded - pretty much the same as the movies. Don't get me wrong, I liked them, but there's just no way I can sit through them again. I think Peter Jackson just refuses to make an ordinary length movie - the original King Kong wasn't much over an hour.

As for Spider-Man, I think they're very good comic-book movies - they've managed to get non-comic fans to watch and enjoy the films, and that's nothing but a good thing. Sure, it may enrage some hardcore fans, but then nothing would have pleased them anyway.

Apparently Bryce Dallas Howard - the blind girl in The Village - is playing Gwen Stacy in Spider-Man 3. How the hell they're going to work that one in, after killing off Norman Osborn in the first movie, I'll be interested to see.


03-04-2006 13:25:17

It could be worse. Sam Raimi's original plan was to have John Jameson become Venom. WTF?!?! He's Man-Wolf. I get annoyed when people screw with things when there's no real need for it. It's gonna be difficult to Venom properly. I wonder if they're gonna set it up for Carnage to appear in a future movie...

Baron Zarco

03-04-2006 13:39:30

In response to an earlier post or two where it is said or implied that comics fans should lighten up when the stroy is re-told I will say this - if the producers (or whatever) are using the name of a character then they are marketing an expectation. If they want to sell a different story then they should let that story stand or fall on its own merit, not use a successful character with a certain continuity that is the very basis for that success in order to spin (pun intended since we are talking about Spiderman) a new story.

It is not a pedantic or juvenile issue. It is an nissue of, essentially, false marketing. I am aware that they "own" the character and can do what they want. I am making a moral and/or literary argument, not a legal one.

Kaine Mandaala

03-04-2006 14:43:34

I'd rather see them do Kraven, Vulture or Mysterio than any second string loser villain like Carnage.

I think Kevin Kline would be great as Kraven :)

Baron Zarco

03-04-2006 14:48:54

But you know they are going to do Carnage because they can do it with the computer instead of having to get a real actor. Sell the sizzle not the steak.

Kaine Mandaala

03-04-2006 16:29:36

I know - and that's really sad. There are so many great stories in the Spider-Man saga that could have easily been translated into an awesome film.

Even if they just did the "Kraven's Last Hunt" comics as one film... man - that would be great. The multi-part stories weren't always good (Secret Wars 2), but that one was among the best. I understand they're trying to give people this great cinematic experience with a beginning and an end, but they seem like they're building up these bad guys and killing them off (ala 90's Batman series) or leaving a very narrow bridge between them. I wish they'd just do something solid to tie them together. Instead I get this feeling that mirrors the Web of Spider-Man One Shot Villain era.

I don't know - I'm pretty passionate on the Spider-Man issue. I collected those comics for 10 years. I was very familiar with every aspect of Spidey's life - which I've been told has been all screwed up. I stopped collecting - and I know exactly where - at Amazing Spider-Man #328, the issue after McFarlane stopped drawing Amazing and had his own series called just "Spider-Man". And it wasn't because I love McFarlane or anything - in fact quite the opposite. I was kind of sick of his work, and often slammed Spawn as nothing but a rip off of a Spider-Man villain (He looks like a recolored Prowler).

Anyhow I like the Spider-Man films, but I'm still hoping that some day someone decides to make one exactly like the damned comics, or at least have no inconsistancies bvetween the film and the established history. Maybe they won't screw up Cloak And Dagger...

Baron Zarco

03-04-2006 18:08:23

Kaine wrote, in part:

"I was kind of sick of his work, and often slammed Spawn as nothing but a rip off of a Spider-Man villain (He looks like a recolored Prowler). "

Damn that's pitiful. I agree.


04-04-2006 03:34:51

Worst F'ing Movie of All Time (WFMoAT): Battlefield Earth

Best Movie of '06: V for Vendetta


04-04-2006 05:43:42

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Besides that one: I barely seen any movies from Hollywood in the past years that really got me excited and happy. Except for LotR (I read and loved those books since my early childhood), Pirates of The Caribbean, Matrix (part 1) and probably Equilibrium. I can't even remember any movie from the past few years worth being mentioned as a good movie besides those. Peter Jackson did a great movie with LotR, but lets not forget he had a story to rely on. :P

The rest is just commercial sh*t. Nowadays when I go into theater I try not to expect too much of a movie.
When I watch some DVDs from friends, I am usually glad I didn't waste my money on going into theater for such a bad movie.

It's really sad. And it's also the same on TV. I barely watch TV. And if I do, I look at documentaries on e.g. Discovery. I used to watch a lot of MTV and equal music channels, but in Germany those barely show any music anymore! I refuse to watch quiz shows on MTV; I refuse to watch MTV seing people who try to find a date, and I refuse to watch a 20 minutes long documentary how Britney Spears buys 3 pairs of socks for 800$! Who the f*ck cares?! Not me!

And no, I don't want to see the commercial music videos over and over again: replaceable faces with replaceable music that appears to come from a software called "Eazy MusikMaker V 1.0". "Same sh*t - different day".


Kaine Mandaala

04-04-2006 08:47:22

I used to watch a lot of MTV and equal music channels, but in Germany those barely show any music anymore!

That situation is happening in all countries. MTV has like 4 channels now, one is running the way it was started in the early 80's. The rest are a mishmash of pop culture and crap - though I do like some of the shows VH1 puts out (Best Week Ever, "I Love The [decades]"). I don't really watch much TV anymore either - and I was going to start another thread about that rant.

Going back to your movie comments:

When I watch some DVDs from friends, I am usually glad I didn't waste my money on going into theater for such a bad movie.

Yeah I've done the same. I've borrowed a DVD only because I didn't think the film was worth any of my money, and I was right. Most people will get pissed when I say how much I hated "Signs". It was the worst film M. Knight Shamalan has made, aside from his oddball horror flick from when he was 10, but even that is slightly better than "Signs". I thought it was so bad I didn't bother watching anything else. "The Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable" were great but "Signs" wasn't worth the time I spent watching it. People kept saying it was so much in the style of Hitchcock, and I wanted it to be so much better than it was, which is probably why I was disappointed. I'm a big Hitchcock fan and M. Knight is no Hitch.

The best thing I got out of Signs was that I understood all the jokes in Scary Movie 3.

Xayun Erinos

04-04-2006 10:00:05

Best Movie of '06: V for Vendetta

Totally agree. V was perhaps one of the best movies I've seen in recent years. I'd shied away from the comic before (just flat-out disliked the pencils) so I didn't really have anything to compare it to - probably why I liked it so much.
I've heard a lot of people say they hated the lack of action, to which I say: Idiots. It wasn't an action movie.


04-04-2006 14:22:23

Totally agree. V was perhaps one of the best movies I've seen in recent years. I'd shied away from the comic before (just flat-out disliked the pencils) so I didn't really have anything to compare it to - probably why I liked it so much.
I've heard a lot of people say they hated the lack of action, to which I say: Idiots. It wasn't an action movie.

Yeah more of a thriller I'd say, with "dramatic action" dialogue. Remember, remember the 5th of November! And Hugo Weaving was incredible -- he made that movie, along with that really cool mask. I can't imagine James Purefoy in the role, who had it originally and got fired a couple weeks into shooting.

Xayun Erinos

04-04-2006 16:52:00

Exactly - huge credit to Weaving for being able to have such a great presence on-screen when we couldn't even see his face for the entirety of the film.
A lot of people have panned Natalie Portman's performance, but if you ask me, it's the best she's ever done, and that's no small feat considering how good she was in Garden State.

Basically everything in V was good....Stephen Rea, great. John Hurt, great....and it's so brilliantly quotable! ;)


04-04-2006 21:14:57

A lot of people have panned Natalie Portman's performance, but if you ask me, it's the best she's ever done, and that's no small feat considering how good she was in Garden State.

I must admit to being one of those people. She's absolutely beautiful to look at -- the shaved head thing was a bit of a turn on -- and she's generally got a nice quality about her, but she was the weakest link. Wooden, hollow line readings even worse than the SW trilogy. Girlfriend needs some acting lessons.

Kaine Mandaala

12-04-2006 11:20:31

Ever have people hype up a film so much that when you finally saw it you were disappointed (and I don't mean the prequels)? My friends raved over "The Blair Witch Project" and "Signs" - and I've already talked about how crappy I thought "Signs" was.

Blair Witch Project was one of those movies that everyone was buzzing about. People talked about it like it was the next Citizen Kane, and when I finally saw it I thought it sucked. My wife fell asleep about a half hour in, and all I did was laugh at it for the remainder of the film. The last little bit was mysterious to a point but I don't think they really did a good job of explaining anything.

My review was simply "If you like the f-word, swear along with the Blair Witch Project. Sit back and chuckle the night away with no possibility of getting scared."

They claim that I just don't get the same experience as in the theater. I watched it in the dark with 5.1 surround blasting... and other things I've watched at home have been great.


12-04-2006 14:30:19

So true. Blair Witch is probably the best example of over-hyped crud. Expectation is everything. I recently saw Lord of War for the first time, with very low expectations going in, and I wound up loving it. Same with Jarhead. I thought Serenity, on the other hand, was gonna be awesome, and it turned out to be "eh."

Baron Zarco

12-04-2006 22:59:56

I remember Blair Witch. I laughed all the way through it and then, at the end, it looked like the guy was taking a p*** in the corner. That's scary? Somebody tried to explain the signifigance to the corner to me. Whatever! That movie was funny as Hell. I suppose one could get upset if they wanted to see a horror movie but if one wanted to see Beavis and Butthead get lost in the woods and take a p*** in the corner of an abandoned house, it rocked!!! :w00t:

I am not very good at sarcasm am I? I have always said that sarcasm is the refuge of cowards. I'm glad I am no good at it. :$


15-04-2006 16:31:15

I just saw The Benchwarmers. It was disappointing. Jon Heder should really do a movie out of the dorky clueless character... Few good quotes, but some laughs. Maybe 3/5 stars..

Aegor Raas

16-04-2006 14:37:51

Hmmm... One of the movies I least liked was Dodgeball....

I know a lot of people liked it, but I did not. I was grossed out by it, and considering almost everything was innuendo, I was not amused.

I can't saw it was bad, it was more a personal dislike.

For a pretty bad movie (though I did enjoy it) was The Scorpian King.

It had bad acting, tons of special effects to make it seem good, little plot, dorky lines and scenes, and tons of historical errors.

I went into it with an expectation of an action flick, and that's what I got. Wasn't very good, but it gave what it advertised.

Xayun Erinos

16-04-2006 16:12:04

Just saw Scary Movie 4 the other day.


All I can say is that David Zucker is a [Expletive Deleted]. This series ran out of steam the minute number two ended.

Aegor Raas

16-04-2006 16:13:45

Yes, I was considering seeing it but I thought it would be awful...


22-04-2006 04:52:16

I liked Inside man....

Christopher Plummer still has it ... !!!

Kaine Mandaala

23-04-2006 11:19:06

Ever watch something, think it's awful, then forget every detail of what that film was about?


I saw Bio-Dome (yes, with Pauly Shore) one night when I was in college. I was to catch a flight at about 7 AM the next day. It was already 4 AM and I wasn't tired. My friend and I were bored but didn't feel like playing Red Alert or Jedi Knight (something we did nearly every night). I forget what channel was playing it but I remember having this conversation:

Friend: "When is your flight?"
Me: "7."
Friend: "How are you getting to the airport?"
Me: "I can either take the bus at 5 or you can drive me there."
Friend: "Ok. Hey look, it's Bio-Dome."

We watched the movie, laughing at some stuff but knowing full well it's just a dumb Pauly Shore flick. When it ended, my friend said to me:

Friend: "When did you have to catch that bus?"
Me: "An hour ago."

It was the fastest drive from downtown Pittsburgh to the Pittsburgh Airport in history. I think we made the trip in under 10 minutes.

Now - how sad of a movie is that? I remember the personal circumstances surrounding the film, but not the actual story I watched. Seriously, if you saw Bio-Dome and know some details, I might recall a few. As it stands I can't pull any out of my head. Maybe that's for the best...


23-04-2006 12:35:45

I like Horror Movies (I see alot of you dislike them), but I like them not to be scary, but because if their influences and how interesting they can be. I liked the Ring 1 and 2, not because it was scary (which it wasnt) but because I thought it was interesting how the story was put together, the Grudge is awesome because it looks so cool what they do with the jaw ripped off and the girl appearing under the bed covers, etc. Devel Rejects was cool, but it seemed a little bit dull. But I like all that stuff.

The worst movies? Pride and Prejudice, Bride and Prejudice, and especiallythose dammed Hilary Duff and Lindsey Lohan movies.

Xayun Erinos

01-05-2006 03:36:46

and especiallythose dammed Hilary Duff and Lindsey Lohan movies.

I don't know, Mean Girls, although I suspected it was going to be horrible pre-teen tripe, turned out to be quite funny. Witty, even.


09-05-2006 22:57:14

that movie that fat guy made about the government


10-05-2006 02:37:21

One name: Uwe Boll
Anything made by this guy is just evil EVIL EEEEEVIIIL !!!

Kaine Mandaala

10-05-2006 08:25:40

that movie that fat guy made about the government

Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911? I'm not too keen on his work, though I did want to see 'Bowling For Columbine'. I changed my mind after Fahrenheit 911 came out.

It's partially a political reason, partially a matter of tact.

And if you think you hate Uwe Boll now - wait until he releases movies based on Dungeon Siege, Postal and Far Cry. I wish I was kidding.


10-05-2006 09:03:26

As long as he stay away from Duke Nuken and MGS he can keep breathing..


10-05-2006 12:12:49

Dungeons and Dragons...I could have acted better in that movie, it just sucked all around.


10-05-2006 12:42:33

I'm not too keen on his work, though I did want to see 'Bowling For Columbine'. I changed my mind after Fahrenheit 911 came out.

You should still check out 'Columbine.' It's a much better movie than '911' -- the "leftist" propaganda isn't quite so blatant, and there are some really interesting moments: the scene were Moore gets a free shotgun from a bank for opening up a new account is the height of weirdness, and when he interviews Chuck Heston -- top 5 greatest uncomfortable moments on film. Politics aside, ya got to hand it to Moore. Balls of steel.

Btw, 'United 93' is a really incredible film imo (tho I'm still not convinced that that plane wasn't shot down by the air force <_< ).

Oh and another piece of total garbage to add to the list: Aeon Flux. Way-cool animated series plus uber-babe Charlize Theron = 2 hours of intense boredom? huh? How'd they [Expletive Deleted F-word] this one up?

Kaine Mandaala

10-05-2006 12:58:31

Dungeons and Dragons...I could have acted better in that movie, it just sucked all around.

I'll admit I liked a lot ABOUT the D&D movie, but not enough to say it was anywhere near "good". It had a lot of the classic D&D elements, though overall it was just a poor film. Wayans + bad CGI + weak plot = wasted 2 hours.

The self-proclaimed B movie "Dagon" is a much better film by comparison. Call of Cthulu fans should love that one - it's Shadow Over Innsmouth with some minor details changed.


10-05-2006 14:16:53

I agree, I thought United 93 was a really good movie though I felt they spent a LOT of time with the air traffic controllers, I liked how they used actual tv footage though.

Muz Ashen

10-05-2006 14:25:13

The D&D sequel (direct to SciFi) was pretty decent... No wayans to screw it up, although the bald mofo is still in it.

I still think that 'Fortress' with Christopher Lambert and Red Forman from 'that 70's show' is the worst movie i've seen in a long long time.

Baron Zarco

10-05-2006 20:42:19

I have been playing D&D and the like since 1978. I thought the movies were terrible. Perhaps I am too close to the topic.

However, a great D&D type movie is "Hawk the Slayer." I do not know if too many people have seen it. The bad guy was Jack Palance. I bet Muz would like it.


11-05-2006 23:45:48

yeah, i that note does anyone know if D&D Online is out yet?