Breaking Up


11-07-2005 10:36:54

The girl I thought I was going to marry just said she never wanted to talk to me again, it hurts beyond anything i would ever imagined. What do I do?


11-07-2005 11:03:23

This is the advice I would give to a girl in your position.. it may or may not apply equally to men...

You need to make sure to keep in mind that this is not the end of the world (however much it might seem so...). To that end, prove to yourself that you can survive without her. Invite friends over (you shouldn't really be alone right now anyway), order takeaway, drink wine, eat ice-cream, and watch a girlie movie. Or an action movie if you prefer... Have a laugh or a cry with your mates, and maybe one of them can stay over.

It'll still hurt, but at least you'll have the support of your friends, and you'll have proven that you'll be ok.



11-07-2005 11:12:44

Thank you Alanna I apreciate it. But its more "how" she dumped me then "why".

I'm not giving up on you because of a crush. I'm not giving up on you
because I realize I was never falling for you. What is there to give up
when I realize that there was nothing to give up? I realized I was lying to
you when I said I was in love or falling in love with you. So I ended it.
I know where my interests lie, and they're not with you. You're not the
kind of guy I want to date. Not right now, at this point in my life. You
may have had a chance in the future, when I'm more mature. But you just
[Expletive Deleted F-word]ed that up big-time. And don't worry, I don't want to talk to you
anymore either. Why do you think I was so harsh on the phone? I hope that
you fail 10th grade, and end up dropping out of school. I hope I'm this
famous and really hot author. I'll be sure to write a book about you: the
crazy guy who loved me but turned into a greasy fat-ass working at bp. It
will sell millions. I hope you kick yourself in the ass every time you see
my books or see me on oprah. I hope you kick yourself in the ass when you
see me making out with guys in school. I hope you kick yourself in the ass
when you see us on dates, or dancing. Because you lost me. You kicked me
out the door. And I can't thank you enough.

That was her email. Before I read this I was more in love with her then anyone else in the world. It just crushed me.


11-07-2005 11:17:09

Well, harsh though it may sound right now, I think you've had a narrow escape. If she's that callous and vindictive, she doesn't sound like the kind of girl that I'd want to date.

I'm sure she was lovely most of the time... but I think that e-mail says it all.


11-07-2005 11:21:05

Thanks Alanna. I think your right. All this time I've been blaming myself and it was her. Whenever I read that email it felt like my soul had been drained and someone had ripped my heart out with a hot pointy clamp. I made a mistake in falling in love with her. Now I will probably never fall in love with anyone again.


11-07-2005 11:24:50

Right now it feels like "Best of You" Foo Fighters was written just for me. Specifically...

"Has someone taken the bait, its real, the pain you feel, the LIE, the LOVE, you've got to heal, the hope, thats not, the broken heart, the trust, you must confess"

Decribes pretty much everything I am going through

Mike Halcyon

11-07-2005 11:25:27

Ah... teenage love. Almost as entertaining as hunting VCs with a Slick from a Huey.


11-07-2005 11:31:42

This wasn't teenage love Mike, this was REAL love. I almost threw up whenever I read that email, but I held it in and threw up later that night.


13-07-2005 01:31:56

Yeah I can relate Jaymz. As someone who's been through a rough breakup or two, I can tell you from experience that it's always a phenomenal pain to bare, and you think you'll never be able to fully recover. But time does heals all wounds. That's the simple truth, however clichéd. Heartache like what you're feeling is totally natural, and you'll get over it. It's all part of life, and you'll gain strength from it, as people do. Like they say in the book, "Pain is good, Monsieur." And you're doing the right thing, by getting this out, using music and message boards and whatever else that aids you as a catharsis. And even though you don't know me, believe me when I tell you that you will fall in love again, and it'll be better than anything that came before it.

And btw, that email she sent you is a bunch of bs. She's just trying to hurt you with words. Alanna is right, you don't need that kind of negative person in your life. So in the long run, it's really her loss.

Keep the faith dude.


13-07-2005 17:34:23

Ah... teenage love. Almost as entertaining as hunting VCs with a Slick from a Huey.

Ahh, the good old day in the Mekong Delta. Light em up and watch em scatter. What merry times those were >:)


13-07-2005 19:41:35

Not sure I want to fall in love. I know life is all about chances and taking chances, but I never wanna feel that kinda pain again. Only because that was the second time, I should have been smarter than that. I doubt I will fall in love again, I thank you for your support.


15-07-2005 11:31:28

falling in love ain't something you can help dude. whether you want it to or not, it's gonna happen. pain is a teacher. it doesn't teach you how to avoid mistakes, but it teaches you how to recover from them. i've seen some of your other threads, i know you like guitar based music of the heavy variety. go listen to "unforgiven 2" from metallica's reload. then listen to "high speed dirt" from megadeth's "symphony of destruction". and then, if you can get a hold of it listen to "and the last embrace" by area 54. it's on their "no visible scars" album. that last one really helps.

she's trying to make her self feel better about this by hurling abuse at you. she thinks that if she severs all ties with you it'll make it better. soon she'll realise that this doesn't work. no doubt in a few weeks you'll be friends again. maybe nothing more but if you love this girl that much then it's better to have friendship than nothing, right? and if she really is as much of a b!tch as that e-mail made out then you've been spared a lot of grief in the future. go to and click the link on the left for "topics", then choose fan fiction and read all of "I, Palpatine" (and i mean ALL of it). there's some relevant stuff in there as well as a kick ass story about palpatine's fall to the dark side and some info on plagueis. remember, as dave mustaine said, "that which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger" (high speed dirt)

stay strong, dude...

Mike Halcyon

15-07-2005 12:29:16

Dude. Just yank up the volume, smash in "Surfin Bird" from The Trashmen and start hunting VCs. It really works everytime.


16-07-2005 12:10:44

Thanks guys, but I am sticking with Foo Fighters Best of You, and I [Expletive Deleted F-word]ing Hate You by Godsmack. I will try those songs though.


17-07-2005 00:05:37

The best thing you can do is not stoop to her level and move on with your life. You are young and should be out having fun, not dating little girls who are that vindictive already.
Breaking up over email is just plain cowardly but I guess that comes with the times. From the looks of what she said you did dodge a bullet there. She sounds a lot like my stepdad's mom and she hasn't had a date in like 40 years. Now that woman is more than the definition of bitch, she perfected it. *shudders*
Anyways, the next time you see your ex in the hall, just say hey and continue on. She won't be the last girl you date. Heck you'll find someone much better than her and totally forget her. Continue on with your schooling, go on to college, and rest knowing that when she becomes the 'hot author' Oprah probably won't have her show cause she's getting old. :P


17-07-2005 10:46:14

lol, thanks Telona, but we are friends now.


18-07-2005 23:02:56

if your serious (which you seem to be) im sorry, but girls are something us males shall never understand, no matter how hard they try to explain, we die in our attempts to understand.....

and i love the "best of you" by foo fighters, thats my fav song...

but anyways,sorry


20-07-2005 12:46:07

Thanks Tyrus, thank you all for your support. But we are good Friends now, so I [Expletive Deleted F-word]ing hate you, doesn't come into play. I still like her alot but the love is gone, I will probably never love again. Its just I felt a connection to her, like I couldn't let go as easily as I could everyone esle it was wierd.