Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer! (Revived!)
Some of you may remember this from years past. If memory serves, this idea originally started on the old DB boards, and it gained quite the strong following, with multiple (as in, several dozens) of pages of posts. So, I have thus revived it from depths of history, dusted it off, and breathed some life back into it! Just some simple rules, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept.
1. As the title says, you ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer in return.
2. Do keep answers and questions as simple as possible. There's no need for long-winded versions of either, unless someone happens to ask for a full break-down of Newton's Third Law, but then, that would defeating the basic purpose of this thread, would it not? So, please, K.I.S.S. it!
3. Keep it clean! We don't need dirty questions and/or answers. As funny as older folks may find some of that stuff to be, there are those of us that find the racial and sexual jokes, innuendo and everything else to be offensive. Plus, you never know when a kid's reading this, do ya?
Well, I think that about does it. If there's any other questions, or suggestions, feel free to shoot me an e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org
). I'll make this a sticky as soon as I get mod powers.
So, without further ado...I give you.... The first stupid question!!!!
...what is the square root of cheese? ;p
I'm saying milk.
What stupid question should I ask?
Answer: One that you come up with on your own
Question: Just what does a rainbow taste like?
Chicken, of course! Fruity, golden, bubblegum chicken!
Is this thread going to survive, or fade into nothingness like almost every other thread on this Force-forsaken board!?
This thread will survive.
But what of the Ale Pond?
I ph34r it may go the way of the dodo...
And who's question brought us down a serious line a questioning anyhow, huh? (this is supposed to be completely insane and off the wall!)
Your question brought it to this point, you dummy
Now, to get us back on track, just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
2 pints. Oops, that's my order over at the Pond.
What's the leading cause of tooth decay in Gamorreans?
The fact that their bodies are 90% fat.
Flamingo vs. stork... who wins?
Hmm, tough one. They're both pretty homo. One's pink and girlie, while the other delivers babies...gee...
Can I phone a friend?
Only if I can ask the audience.
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
don't need to lick, just blow REALLY hard down the hollow stem.
are Geonosians still around?
Only fat geonosians are round.
Are Twi'leks Twilight fans?
Not this one. I'm not a fan of sparkly vampires.
How's the weather over there?
Sunny and 91 degrees. Or pouring acid rain...depending on where you are
If what goes up must come down, is whatever goes down required to go up?
only if it's sticky, or a yoyo, otherwise it's just plain wrong!
Team Edward or team Jacob? :p
Team Jacob, like duh.
Would you hire Patton Oswalt to make his Episode VII?
maybe to start a spoof series like the "Scary Movie" type thing.
i'm bored, how would you entertain me?
With a dancing Twi'lek.
How would you feel if I erased your character history and restarted you as Saelt-Marae (originally known as yak face) of the Yarkora species?
I'd go join the loony toons as grown-up, boozed out snoopy.
why is the Sith color Red?
It's the color of exposed blood.
Do Jedi sneeze?
Yes, they do.
Do you bless them when they sneeze?
Of course not. Every time I catch a Jedi sneezing I try to use the Force to keep their heart from beating again.
Do you know any Star Wars lullabies?
I think there's something about a nerf and a fiddle, but that would be a nursery rhyme. That's about as close as you might get.
If Mace Windu had a tattoo, what would it be of?
it would be of..... serpentine creatures on board a primitive winged atmospheric passenger transport.
do we still have lawyers in this day and age?
We have a form of lawyers through the Chamber of Justice.
What flavors of laffy taffy do Dark Jedi like?
Dark Jedi don't eat Laffy Taffy. They like M&M's.
What's the square root of pizza?
What acronym do we use to remember the order of our planets? Such as MVEMJSUN (no longer P)
well, since we just plain number our planets i imagine it's something with a lot of I's a few V's and a couple of X's.
What would be a Dark Jedi Pie? (like apple pie is american)
Why do we need pie when we have cookies?
everyone must admit, sometimes you just really want pie, and sometimes a la mode!
wait, what kind of cookies?
I like chocolate chip.
What's your favorite?
I like macadamia toffee, yea i know, a bit extravagant
what is/are your favorite ship/s?
The Final Way, a Fury class ship.
What's our version of bacon?
Bacon is a type of food these days, not just made from pork (turkey bacon is fairly popular). I can only imagine the options for "bacon" in the Star Wars universe are limitless.
Which Star Wars creature would provide the best bacon?
But who will go get one?
Not I. They smell bad on the outside and worse on the inside.
Who's excited for the new Battlefront?
If I had a computer I could play it on...maybe I would be.
How did a thread that was supposed to be intended for nonsense and randomness, turn down the path of semi-serious questioning?
i dunno, happened somewhere in the last two pages, but i get the point.
what would a Hutt pie taste like? i mean someone must have done it, right?
I would never go there.
What do we use as a prophylactic?
It's kind of just matters where you're from, like in the outer-rim it's dried and powdered Geonosian, on corellia it's sarlacc soup (odly enough they also work as an aphrodisiac
what would Gandalf be like he had one of those heavy trooper gatling blasters?
What would Darth Vader do if his saber had a short in it and wouldn't turn off?
He would use it as a steak knife that cuts AND cooks at the same time!!
how do you feel when you say "bin chute" 10 times quickly? and think about how you sound.
How would you feel if instead of an Aedile the QUA had a row of helpful people called the Aid Aisle?
That's a genius idea!
Why didn't I think of that?
Because I'm a master of wordplay lol
What's a Jedi and the sarlaac pit have in common?
they both appear on the Krayt Dragon menu of yummies! (no joke they actually do lol)
why can't i have a nyan cat lightsaber?
Cause your name isn't Tim.
Why can't I have a lightsaber with 4 blades, similar to a lug nut wrench?
because you'd become the black knight of Monty Python?
are we the only crazy bastards posting here?
I believe so. Saronyx does sometimes.
If there are no stupid questions, why does it feel like we have some in these 4 pages?
hey i never said our questions weren't stupid
speaking of which, weirdest food we have available to us? and don't say Jedi, thats not weird, it's just natural
I hear there's an insect on Coruscant that's rather delectable.
Does she sell sea shells by the seashore?
Yes. What a fantastic marketing plan.
Do we have TV?
umm no, we have plays! theater! 3d holo shows known as brain rot, BUT IN 3D!!!
what do Jedi pajamas look like?
Why did Arcona cross the road?
to get run over by the Tar truck :p
what's floppy, red, jelly like and has a hair raising texture? so much so that you just want to wiggle it in someone's face. :p
This question is a trap. It's Admiral Ackbar's genitals.
What superhero would you want to see as a Jedi?
Is it heterosexual if a woman penetrates a man?
That's a good question! And welcome to the DB and Tarentum!
If a tree falls in the woods and no one can hear it does it make a sound?
YES! says the scientist in me. NO! says the Philosopher in me... it's sucks being a krath.
what's purple underneath but gold all over?
Nyxie Stix covered in glitter
Who's the worst member in Tarentum?
How many Siths does it take to change a light bulb?
I was actually going for none of us for a team unity thing, but ok
It takes 2 Sith. One to know how to change it and a second to learn all the secrets of changing a light bulb and then kill his master
What condiments do you put on a Jedi?
How do you get an ocean wet?
Play inside it.
Why did Levathan cross the road?
He felt hot.
Which came first, good or evil?
A Jedi and a Sith walk into a bar...what happens?
Drinking proceeded by a sloppy, intense make out session in the parking lot.
Why is there a 60,000 characters limit on a message?
Can a star be smaller then my finger?
Yep, didn't you get those stickers in elementary school?
How did the bantha jump over the moon?
It didn't. The moon did a reverse jump under it.
What do cherry bombs and happy people equal?
Happy exploding cherries.
What medicine do Jedi take when they're sick?
i thought they just meditated everything away, and do the weird sitting floaty thing.
you an exhibitionist?
No, Im a voyeur.
How high can turtles fly?
Depends on how high you throw them.
Where did all of the mermaids go?
The Greenland Sea.
What types types of herders are there other than nerf herders?
beats the hell outta me, i just know they all smell like ass... furry, warm, ass mmmmm
when you make, a wish upon a staarrr?
Whenever I can.
What's black, white, and red all over?
Who set the record for the slowest pass?
A Sith Panda!
What's red with blue and purple polka dots?
Who set the record for the slowest pass? The tortoise in "The Tortoise and the Hare"
What's red with blue and purple polka dots? *paints herself red, adding blue and purple polka dots* Me!
Is this answer acceptable?
I'll accept it.
What's the longest distance between two points?
Infinite until something crosses it.
What do snails like?
dance dance baby? :p
Does someone want to come up with a question for me?
Are the rituals of courting genetic?
naaa they're societal, i mean what moron came up with, no sex before the third date?
(holy crap, answer and question, unintentionally!)
Not the Jedi.
Are you against womens' suffrage?
I'm against everyones suffrage. Equal right advocate here!!!
Would you save the girlfriend or the husband?
I believe in everyone's suffrage. I would save both.
I would save everyone. And I agree with Ernordeth.
you choose because you have to start somewhere :p a leg here, an arm there, put em together and make something fun
creepiest thing you've ever seen, is?
What genres of music does Star Wars have?
What would have happened if the Tusken Raiders would have killed Luke in A New Hope?
I'd be kinda happy that the entire galaxy would be united under one strong rule and pretty sad that we probably wouldn't have all that zomgbbq Mark Hamill voice acting.
can i has cheezburger?
*grumpy cat* No.
What time is it?
It hammer time!
cant touch this?
I dont wanna!!!
Krath or Sith?
Both are great and a conflict I've always had, especially now that they don't have the old definitions they did in 2004. I choose Sith though.
Even though we're always family friendly movies is our universe actually so dark that there's no such thing as a serial killer by definition?
What was the question?
Kirk & Sisko or Archer & Picard?
Why don't we create our own language?
It's called the language of love.
A-Wing or SSD?
An SSD full of A-wings.
If you could have any type of lightsaber what would it be?
One that lights the world and creates life.
Snuggling with your mortal enemy or freezing a long, miserable death?
Snuggling with the mortal enemy. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? That, and I fear a slow and painful death.
Does this outfit make me look fat?
Of course not. Only cells do that.
Why is the sky blue?
Because if it was yellow, rain would not be so nice.
why is it, that 1st place is better than 5th, BUT 5 stars are better than 1?
More is better.
Why is it that it rains only when you forget to bring an umbrella?
Because weather is a conspiracy.
How new is new before new becomes old?
Erno surrounds you and penetrates you; it binds the galaxy together
Did you know there's trivia in #shadowacademy at 6pm EST?
Damn, I'm going out of town.
Because you're unique.
Because you're unique.
Youre to pretty to die.
goggles or no goggles?
Now who's going to swallow?
“That shit’s fucked up.”
Captain Kangeroo or Captain Crunch?
Fire or flame?
Captain America or Captain Planet?
Both are good, but Captain America.
Iron Man or Batman?
Iron Man; He doesnt live with the constant fear of being unmasked.
Loki or Bane?
Depends on which Bane it is. Batman Bane or Darth Bane? I like Batman Bane, but I think I would pick Loki.
Darth Bane or Batman Bane?
Old site or New site?
Fiction or runon?
Run on or the Runs
Writing in a runon while you have the runs.
Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Because youre too uncool to park and drive on a runway.
Is god a man or a woman?
My opinion is God is not a specific sex/gender
What makes a question stupid?
A: An answer that is equally as stupid!
Q: Why do snickers stop making you angry?
Cause Snickers make you snicker.
Why does Orbit clean your mouth?
Because it's made by these little aliens from a far away planet, and you know that "minty" flavor? Well, you're actually chewing on microscopic radioactive asteroids, that when released from the "gum" (resin-based polymer, aka alien jism) they begin to ORBIT about your mouth and attract all the nasty food and odor and plaque particles!
However, it's all part of an alien invasion plot, because those asteroids are also implanting tiny listening and mind control devices inside your teeth. How else do you think the feds knew how to find bin Laden? He chewed Orbit!!
*conspiratorial surfer voice engaged* Big Brother is always watching, man! And they're trying to control us with all those lights, and signs and pretty painted lines on the roads, bro!
...Was that too much?
How cold does the cold wind blow?
I'm Canadian, where cold is the only degree.
Why'd the beaver cross the road?
Because it got tired of hanging above the honey pot! hi oh!
if he sells sea shells, who is he selling them to?
Mer-people, you don't wanna know what the males do with em.
What's 2 + the square root of evil?
Who's surprised to see me posting?