Contract 024 - Celevon Edraven


22-04-2013 18:51:49

>>>Starting Encrypted Holo-Transmission>
>>Transmission Source Trace: Antei>
>Priority Level: Urgent>

There is an art to extinguishing someones flame. Unspoken rules exist among those who consider themselves masters in the way of assassination. As Sashar no doubt taught you, failure is never an option when presented with a target. While skill in combat is divine, the subtleties of the craft often lie elsewhere.
Martess Astrom is a former member of the Jedi Order. She left after her lover betrayed their relationship to their Master’s, who then turned their ire on her. She has seen fit to join the ranks of One Sith and has been putting her unique skills to use in the battle against the Brotherhood. As a Miraluka, her connection with the Force is heightened in ways even some of the most powerful Master’s can’t fully understand.

It is said she has a unique family bloodline that allows her to detect malicious intent. As a result, she is a perfect sentry for the military minds behind the One Sith. Any attempts we’ve had at sending assassins to take out the leader she was assigned have failed.

Your mission is to eliminate this obstacle. We have tracked her location to a lunar base on a satellite moon off of Korriban's orbit. You are to infiltrate the enemy base, and eliminate Martess Astorm. The base is well fortified with One Sith Acolytes and hired security. She will know you are coming, too. Trying to take on the entire base by force could cause her to flee with her subject.

You must figure out a way to prevent her from fleeing, and to extinguish her flame. Failure is not an option.


>>Attached Dossier:
Name: Martess Astrom

Age: 25
Race: Miraluka - Female
Rank: Equite 1
Skills: Form III practitioner, heightened sensory abilities, agile, flexible and athletic.

Strength: **(2/5)
Dexterity: **** (4/5)
Endurance: ** (2/5)
Force Aptitude: **** (4/5)
Wits: *** (3/5)


Celevon Edraven

25-04-2013 19:18:10

Main Hold, Lady Luck
1245 Hours

“So... Korriban? Why would someone who is a known assassination target be in so obvious a location?” J’akked asked, frowning as a tendril of smoke drifted off of his cigarra.

“According to the specs, she is rumoured to have an ability in her bloodline to detect malicious intent. If it’s true, the ability will make her arrogant and believe no danger can come close enough to her,” Celevon replied absently as he went through his duffel.

“How do you plan to succeed where the others have failed if she can detect malicious intent?” the Hapan asked incredulously as he exhaled the smoke.

“I have no intention of harming her. Does ‘malicious intent’ towards the food count?” the Onderonian asked in tones of mock innocence, pulling out a familiar white outfit as he began to smirk. “I plan to butcher the meat, boil some vegetables and such. Everyone needs to eat. It’s hardly my fault that they don’t know what the cook they hired looks like...”

“You killed the cook?”

“Of course not. He never received the job offer to begin with,” the Assassin grinned.

“... Then how do you plan to kill her?”

“The poisonous root I’ll be putting in the food remains dormant without a catalyst. It’s commonly used as a spice in the dishes made on the planet where the real cook is from. The catalyst,” Celevon explained, holding up a small cube, “Will be within the spray nozzle of her sonic shower. It’s something Sashar introduced me to. It will cause her to bleed out through every orifice: eyes, ears, nose, mouth, etc.”

“How long will that take?” the ex-soldier asked, ignoring the mental images of what the woman would look like.

“About fifteen minutes after the catalyst first hits and is absorbed into her skin... so, likely before she even finishes her shower,” the Templar shrugged as he began to get dressed in the suit common to a Chef.

“So because he’s already been vetted, you won’t get searched for weapons?”

“I’m not bringing weapons,” Celevon corrected the man who had raised him with a mild tone. “If I need any... have you ever seen how many knives a cook has access to?”

“True enough. How are you going to contact me for when you need to leave?” the older man asked as he put the small remains of his cigarra into the ash tray.

“I’ll call you on my comlink after I report the successful mission.”

“What are you doing about clothes? They will get suspicious if you go in without any luggage,” Jack pointed out.

“What do you think I bought those clothes for at our last stop? And the duffel from the military surplus store?” the Assassin raised an eyebrow.

“... You don’t have to be a smart arse about it, Edraven.”


Lendil Station, Third Moon from the debris field that was once Korriban
Horuset System
0240 Hours

“Did you get lost again, Vorn?” one of the Guards chuckled as the Onderonian grinned sheepishly and nodded.

“Hardly my fault that this place is built like a labyrinth. I was looking to make sure I knew where every exit was in case we had to evacuate and... may have taken a wrong turn along the way,” ‘Vorn’ admitted in a mumble.

“Do you need any help finding your way back to your quarters?” the Guard asked kindly, visibly restraining himself from laughing at the Chef.

“That won’t be necessary. I’m off to go get dinner started. I’m thinking spiced rice, grilled chicken, some fresh, toasted bread and... some kind of vegetable. Dessert will be easy.”

The Guard swallowed, wiping away the saliva that had built up on the side of his mouth from the description. “What are you thinking of making for dessert?”

“That would ruin the surprise,” the Chef smirked before turning and walking away. Like I would get lost... This place is easier to navigate than the Citadel. At least I managed to install the catalyst.

Less than half an hour later, the Assassin was adding the poisonous root to the rice, finely shredded. The large cauldron required to cook for eighty people meant that everyone would get some of it, including the Deader.

Turning in place, Celevon blinked as he stared at the open cooler. “... That’s a lot of frakking chicken.” The Templar sighed and turned up the fire on the grill. “Good thing I got started cooking so early. This is going to take a while.”


0750 Hours

“Everybody wake up! Mistress Astrom and Lieutenant Evarson were murdered! Found them in a pool of their own blood, I did!” One of the Guards shouted, running through the halls to alert everyone.

The Onderonian peered out of the doorway, catching sight of a large amount of blood coating the back of the Guard’s uniform and smirked, lighting a cigarette. Looks like someone... slipped. That Lieutenant was a woman, I think. Oh, well, I guess killing an Officer is just a bonus. Time to make my escape.

Celevon quickly made his way towards the exit, shouting at the Guards as he approached. “Astrom and Lieutenant Evarson have been murdered! The scene needs to be quarantined! Go help the others!”

The two Guards shared a look before running past the ‘Chef’, heading off in the direction of the women’s shared quarters.

“All too easy,” the Templar muttered as he opened the door and exited the main part of the station, punching in the Commissioner’s frequency. “Marick, it’s Edraven. Scratch another off the list. Mission accomplished.”


04-05-2013 11:30:21

Contract 024: Complete
Mission: Accomplished

Debriefing: Target was successfully eliminated without fleeing.


Celevon: You've come a long way since your first contracts. Your story is well structured, well written, and very well thought out. There were little to no errors in syntax, spelling, or grammar, and the writing itself was easy to read and descriptive. Which makes this all the more frustrating to grade.

You came up with a brilliant way to accomplish your task. I love the Chef idea. But there is no meat to this story. It's simply a recounting of events that transpired: "This happened, then this happened, then this. The end!". I'm hungry for the rest of the story here. How does Celevon almost mess up? Nothing ever goes 100% smoothly. What if she decides NOT to eat the food? What if she gets called away for something unexpected? There is no drama in this. It's flat, and quite frankly boring. You had the perfect outline for so much interesting things to happen. Does one of the waiting staff constantly hit on Celevon? Does someone try and up-show him as a Chef, thinking they're better? I have no connection to any character, a sense of the scenery, or anything. I just get an outline of a mission.

For this reason, Celevon, I'm giving you Satisfactory. You can do better, and I know you can and will with your future contracts.

Good work.


B-Class = 2 points;
"Satisfactory" Contract = 2 points;
Total = 4 points.