Duga Taldrya Arkarso
For the final part of this event members can create one "Top Ten Reasons you know another Great Jedi War is here" list. Try to be funny, of course, that's what will win it for you. The best will show up in the post-GJW Edition of the Tal Times most likely. Try and do this by Sunday.
10. Reading 20 emails a day.
9. Hearing odd rumors, more than usual.
8. Lanny does her "You must get promoted" thing
7. What's that music?
6. All Acolytes or below are getting jumpy.
5. Pilots hang fuzzy dice in their star-fighters.
4. Writing letters to loved ones, pets... who ever.
3. Dismal takes a bath
2. Everyone's trying to "get some" for unknown reason.
1. I think I smell crabb
Hey! I take offense Sena
In no particular order...
- Shad re-appears out of nowhere.
- Tal wins. Again.
- Everyone else loses. Again.
- Every Tal on the DC fights for Tal.
- Tarentum fails on purpose. Again.
- Kraval gets Carpal Tunnel syndrome.
- Duga doesn't award the GJW medals until the next year.
- Kaek comes out of retirement. Again.
- Jac single-handedly defeats everyone while riding on a TIE Fighter.
- THERE BE DB TROUBLEZ! JAC, JAC! DB TROUBLEZ!
10. I get a hard-on but want to save my hand strength for typing out crappy stories.
9. At night my wife rolls over to me and says that she's ready for me, only to find that I'm not there. I'm really at the computer, waiting for the GJW to start.
8. I wake up in the morning mumbling about my dreams of riding into battle on top of a TIE Fighter and killing everyone.
7. My face is raw from slapping myself every time some moron on IRC says that they will beat Tal. Must...defeat...urge...to...delete...dossier...
6. I have stocked up my refrigerator with soft drinks, pretzel bites, frozen pizzas, frozen pizzas, frozen pizzas, more frozen pizzas and a shit ton of celebratory booze.
5. Shadow came back, and I needed some paper towels to wipe up.
4. My wife complains that, when I am actually in the bedroom, I am thrusting way too hard.
3. I actually have to take down the "Tal pwnz again!" banner that has been flying in my apartment for the last five years. I will miss looking at it...for the next six weeks.
2. I am already prepping my wife with a boatload of lies, excuses and alibis for why I will be glued to the computer for every free moment of my life over the next two months.
1. In twelve days I am taking the most important test of my life that determines whether I become an attorney or not. It covers fourteen subjects and about 3500 pages of outlined material that I pretty much need memorized. I have yet to memorize it. Rather than studying, I am writing out a list of the top ten reasons of how I know the GJW is here.
Wow, Im in awe... we're not worthy.
10. The Grand Master has set a date
9. The Deputy Grand Master has repeatedly told the club that the GJW is near
8. The official emails received through Summit mailing lists
7. The Force
6. borrowed Womanly Intuition
5. Jac's Hard on
4. The general furor the club seems to have worked itself into, claiming to be superior to Taldryan
2. There is a topic on the MBs about knowing a GJW is near
1. It was foretold in the Old Testament (I dare you to look it up)
Jac, the bar exam is for losers, don't do it.
And I <3 you.
10. House and Clan Summits start going around to inactive and semiactive members, telling them to "get in gear or be
used for target practice".
9. The incessant whimper on IRC of "We'll beat them this time".
8. The victoriously sneered reply - "In your dreams, maybe".
7. Stores around the world start running out of No-Doz and such.
6. NewEgg.com sells out of precision mice and gaming keyboards.
5. The Dark Council members start wearing flak jackets under their robes.
4. Pharmacies and sports stores sell out of wrist braces
3. Gobhainn Sgath cancels his next two Heart exams; Does not want to miss anything and does not want his doctor to know
how much stress, he is placing on himself.
2. Sgath's wife buys a prepaid funereal plan for him; If the war doen't kill him, She will.
1. All sensible nonparticipating entities are discovered migrating to Taldryan territories.
10. People are forgetting who wins each and every GJW (hint: ends with “aldryan”)
9. Every Clan runs a “Gear up to the GJW” competition…some even finish!
8. Watching Clans put together their “Why it isn’t our fault we came in dead last” excuses
7. Watching members gear up with the “Why this GJW sucks” explanations
6. Influx of Tal members re-joining/waking up in time to beat the rest of Clans before hibernating once more
5. A sudden spike of Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy sales around the globe
4. The last Clan to come in second in a big competition still hasn’t stopped talking about it
3. Clans start worrying they may get closed down if they finish last (hint: Don’t finish last)
2. Leaders around the DB remember they have members and send out e-mails every few hours begging everyone to participate in the GJW
1. The only competitions being run the week before earn you nothing more than an emerald crescents
10. all the emails are from people in leadership
9. there are more activities than normal
8. the house and clan are busy
7. promotions and positions are being discussed at length
6. reports are more timely
5. the ACC is more active
4. more message board posts
3. more insanity
2. more baths
1. Kara sharpening her horns.
1 Shad has been thrusting regularly.
2 Crix's "NEW" girlfriend has to buy a blow up man to satisfy her.
3 Duga’s nick on IRC is not Duga|busy anymore.
4 Lots of rushed competitions…like this…have been put out.
5 Everyone to do with fiction/writing is tired…80 pages of GJW plot-line!!!!
6 IRC #Taldryan has more than 5 members on at one time.
7 Sklib has started wearing his lucky condom.
8 Kir has been a frequent topic on IRC.
9 All the other clans are wondering how much Tal will win by this time.
10 All the people in the “Old Folks Home” have awoken from their slumber.
Duga Taldrya Arkarso
Good lists, everyone to the GJW now!