I suppose that I can throw a few suggestions in here, since I'm HM, and CSP is the current test clan for these guided run-ons. Tarentum is the other one.
A lot of the major issues were already hit on, but I did want to add some comments. Sometimes it may be easier to get someone else to write you into the story, rather than trying to write your own introduction. That way, you avoid the temptation to write the extra stuff that tends to weigh down early posts.
And, you get to avoid the situation of "Quick everyone! Get to your personal ships and meet in the briefing room down the hall!" If only I was joking about that...
As a personal rule, if I must go back in the story a bit for my post, I always try to make the post end with going forward. If you need to, stand up in a clear area and take a step backwards. Then take two steps forward. That's a physical representation of what a post should do, if
you must go back into the storyline a bit.
As for the spelling/grammar issue, Kaine is right. It's just something that we have to deal with patiently. I've read countless fiction submissions, run-ons, tests of wisdom, and advanced tests of wisdom during my time in the DB. If you want to talk about bad spelling and grammar, we can. I've seen it more than enough, and I've seen people insist that they are good writers when they're not. But, it does not hurt to suggest to other members that they might want to at least run their post through a spell checker (you can find free ones online
if nothing else). If you're not comfortable doing this, talk to your house or clan leaders. Just be constructive in your approach.
The great thing about a properly running run-on is that your better writers will be able to correct any destructive plot deviations before they get out of hand. Practice is a big element to getting things correct. I'll admit it: I used to make some of the same mistakes I now mark people off for. But, I learned from my mistakes.
Anyways, I'll stop now. It is good to see some others offering advice and I look forward to watching your progress.