Anonymous
19-05-2005 09:25:57
This my own little review of ROTS. I don't think much of you will like what I have to say, though.
To start off...Revenge of the Sith sucked.
Yes, that's right, I said it sucked. Well, for the most part. There were a couple of moments that made me feel like "F*CK YEAH!". I'll go over what I liked about the movie first.
20'th Century Fox coming up, followed by the Lucasfilm logo, followed by the big STAR WARS words. That was great. Another part that I enjoyed was the execution of the Jedi when Palpatine starts Order 66. Lucas did a pretty good job there, and it feels quite unique, although albeit out of place in a Star Wars movie. What I mean by that is, the execution of the Jedi is good and all, but the whole atmosphere of how it shows it all is what really makes it stand out as one of the greatest moments in Star Wars history. Order 66 = Great. I kind of feel like I'm taking words out of Goathams mouth here, but...when Anakins standing in the Jedi Council chamber after Windu and co. go after Palpatine, that was also a great moment. It's just good filmmaking, in my opinion. Another good moment was suited Vader. I don't mean when he first appears as suited Vader (I'll get to that later), but afterwards. You see him walk down a corridor of a ship, next to the Emperor and Governor Tarkin. And you see Imperial Officers looking at panels and [Expletive Deleted]. It's good. The last good part is how Obi-Wan just leaves Anakin. Anakin jumps up toward him and Obiwans like SLICE and Anakin slides down near lava. He tries to climb up, Obi-Wan watches, and doesn't help him. Anakin catches fire, Obi-Wan watches for a few seconds then is just like "yo bad. later" and leaves, that was cool.
Okay on to the bad stuff.
I'll begin by saying that this movie has *THE CHEESIEST MOMENTS EVER*. And I'm not talking about love scenes. Believe it or not, those weren't bad at all compared to what I'm about to talk about.
The first thing is Palpatine...whoever says Ian is a good actor needs to have their heads examined. He is HORRIBLE. I swear to god, he is absolutely crap in this movie. His acting is so bad that it makes you laugh. Samuel L. Jackson is just as pathetic, followed by Hayden Christensen.
The worst moment in any movie I've ever seen (in any movie ever, I'm not kidding) is Mace Windu and Palpatine. Palpatine is lying down, shooting lightning, and Mace is blocking it with his lightsaber. Anakin is just standing there like a dumbass (he really looks like a dumbass just standing around too).
Sidious goes "Geeeet himmmmmmm I caaaaaaannnnt hoooolllld iiiiiittt!" and Mace goes "He lies! Deeeestrooooy hiiiiiiim annaaaaaakiiiiiiinnnn". Imagine those words in the absolute cheesiest voice you can think of.
What really adds to how gay it is, is Palpatines facial expression. It was *so* cheesy and corny that I laughed. Not because it was good, well done, or anything. I laughed because it was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. Open your mouth as wide as you can. Roll your eyes to the left side of your head. Move your head up and down really fast and go "AhhHHhHhHHH"! I'm serious, do that. How gay do you feel? Pretty gay. That's 1/10th of how gay that scene is.
Then Anakin turns to the Darkside. It's weak. Why is it weak? I don't mean that it was *done* that bad. It's a good enough reason as any. The thing is...you don't feel any emotion or care about these characters at all, save for Obi-Wan. It's just so empty and dull. These moments were built as if you did care about the characters, which if we did, they would have probably been pretty powerful. But I'm telling you, you don't give a [Expletive Deleted] what happens to these people, so the whole things just weak.
Okay, now...Anakin becoming bionic Vader. I liked him being charred up, on the operating table and stuff. That was good (oops shoulda put this at the top oh well), and when you see inside Vaders mask that was neat, although it's not what you expect. I always thought he saw everything like you would see something through really dark sunglasses. It's actually red with sensors and all this [Expletive Deleted].
However...when the table rises and he breaks out of the chains, it's horrible. His head is HUGE. It reminded me of Dark Helmet in Spaceballs. Vader just looks really gay there. James Earl Jones didnt do as bad a job as I had heard about Vaders voice, although the "Noooo" sounds crappy. I actually cut this scene some slack, though. It goes with the Hayden Anakin that we know. It's not the Vader in the OT, at all, but like I said it fits with Hayden.
The lightsaber fights were boring, too. I was very, very, very dissapointed with every single fight. They were all BORING. I was bored. I'm not joking, they are just boring. And sorry, but no, they are nowhere near as cool as the Maul vs Obiwan fight in Episode 1. That was a good fight. To be quite honest...the Obiwan vs Anakin fight is probably the worst fight in the entire movie. I mean there's a lot going on in the environment but it just didn't do it for me at all. The Obiwan & Anakin vs Dooku fight is pretty crap too. Almost as bad the Anakin vs Obiwan fight. Well, okay, it's probably a tad crappier. My bad. I didn't "time" the fight...but I'm telling you it only lasts maybe 20 seconds. Obiwan Anakin and Dooku fight for about 8 seconds, Obiwan gets knocked out, then Anakin and Dooku fight 1on1 and Anakin just totally owns him. Someone in the theater said "...that's it??", and I couldn't agree with him more. What a pointless villain. Speaking of pointless villains, General Grievous is even more useless. I won't get in to how retarded his character is, but I will say that he walks like a [Expletive Deleted F-word]ing Ostrich or something.
Haydens acting is very bad. He tries his hardest to sound menacing when he screams, but it's so dull. It's hard to explain, but for some reason I actually preferred his Episode 2 acting. Chewbacca has no lines in the movie at all. Well, he grunts and growls a couple times, so I guess those are lines, but hardly at all. There's no purpose for him to be there, although...they are showing the wookiee homeworld and we do see a bunch of wookiees so it wouldn't make sense to EXCLUDE Chewie from it.
When Luke and Leia are born, they're the ugliest [Expletive Deleted F-word]ing babies I've ever seen. They look like deformities or something. I'm not so sure it was Anakin who impregnated Padme. They look more like Yoda than anything.
Hm...well, there's more I could go on about but I'm getting tired
Needless to say...it's wierd. I'll see the movie again, I'll buy it on DVD and all of that, because the few good moments the movie does have are worth it...I guess. This is nowhere near as good as the OT, *NOWHERE* near as good as The Empire Strikes Back, and the cheesiness it has just makes it to be a complete joke.
I will end this post with saying one thing, though: R2-D2 owns.
To start off...Revenge of the Sith sucked.
Yes, that's right, I said it sucked. Well, for the most part. There were a couple of moments that made me feel like "F*CK YEAH!". I'll go over what I liked about the movie first.
20'th Century Fox coming up, followed by the Lucasfilm logo, followed by the big STAR WARS words. That was great. Another part that I enjoyed was the execution of the Jedi when Palpatine starts Order 66. Lucas did a pretty good job there, and it feels quite unique, although albeit out of place in a Star Wars movie. What I mean by that is, the execution of the Jedi is good and all, but the whole atmosphere of how it shows it all is what really makes it stand out as one of the greatest moments in Star Wars history. Order 66 = Great. I kind of feel like I'm taking words out of Goathams mouth here, but...when Anakins standing in the Jedi Council chamber after Windu and co. go after Palpatine, that was also a great moment. It's just good filmmaking, in my opinion. Another good moment was suited Vader. I don't mean when he first appears as suited Vader (I'll get to that later), but afterwards. You see him walk down a corridor of a ship, next to the Emperor and Governor Tarkin. And you see Imperial Officers looking at panels and [Expletive Deleted]. It's good. The last good part is how Obi-Wan just leaves Anakin. Anakin jumps up toward him and Obiwans like SLICE and Anakin slides down near lava. He tries to climb up, Obi-Wan watches, and doesn't help him. Anakin catches fire, Obi-Wan watches for a few seconds then is just like "yo bad. later" and leaves, that was cool.
Okay on to the bad stuff.
I'll begin by saying that this movie has *THE CHEESIEST MOMENTS EVER*. And I'm not talking about love scenes. Believe it or not, those weren't bad at all compared to what I'm about to talk about.
The first thing is Palpatine...whoever says Ian is a good actor needs to have their heads examined. He is HORRIBLE. I swear to god, he is absolutely crap in this movie. His acting is so bad that it makes you laugh. Samuel L. Jackson is just as pathetic, followed by Hayden Christensen.
The worst moment in any movie I've ever seen (in any movie ever, I'm not kidding) is Mace Windu and Palpatine. Palpatine is lying down, shooting lightning, and Mace is blocking it with his lightsaber. Anakin is just standing there like a dumbass (he really looks like a dumbass just standing around too).
Sidious goes "Geeeet himmmmmmm I caaaaaaannnnt hoooolllld iiiiiittt!" and Mace goes "He lies! Deeeestrooooy hiiiiiiim annaaaaaakiiiiiiinnnn". Imagine those words in the absolute cheesiest voice you can think of.
What really adds to how gay it is, is Palpatines facial expression. It was *so* cheesy and corny that I laughed. Not because it was good, well done, or anything. I laughed because it was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. Open your mouth as wide as you can. Roll your eyes to the left side of your head. Move your head up and down really fast and go "AhhHHhHhHHH"! I'm serious, do that. How gay do you feel? Pretty gay. That's 1/10th of how gay that scene is.
Then Anakin turns to the Darkside. It's weak. Why is it weak? I don't mean that it was *done* that bad. It's a good enough reason as any. The thing is...you don't feel any emotion or care about these characters at all, save for Obi-Wan. It's just so empty and dull. These moments were built as if you did care about the characters, which if we did, they would have probably been pretty powerful. But I'm telling you, you don't give a [Expletive Deleted] what happens to these people, so the whole things just weak.
Okay, now...Anakin becoming bionic Vader. I liked him being charred up, on the operating table and stuff. That was good (oops shoulda put this at the top oh well), and when you see inside Vaders mask that was neat, although it's not what you expect. I always thought he saw everything like you would see something through really dark sunglasses. It's actually red with sensors and all this [Expletive Deleted].
However...when the table rises and he breaks out of the chains, it's horrible. His head is HUGE. It reminded me of Dark Helmet in Spaceballs. Vader just looks really gay there. James Earl Jones didnt do as bad a job as I had heard about Vaders voice, although the "Noooo" sounds crappy. I actually cut this scene some slack, though. It goes with the Hayden Anakin that we know. It's not the Vader in the OT, at all, but like I said it fits with Hayden.
The lightsaber fights were boring, too. I was very, very, very dissapointed with every single fight. They were all BORING. I was bored. I'm not joking, they are just boring. And sorry, but no, they are nowhere near as cool as the Maul vs Obiwan fight in Episode 1. That was a good fight. To be quite honest...the Obiwan vs Anakin fight is probably the worst fight in the entire movie. I mean there's a lot going on in the environment but it just didn't do it for me at all. The Obiwan & Anakin vs Dooku fight is pretty crap too. Almost as bad the Anakin vs Obiwan fight. Well, okay, it's probably a tad crappier. My bad. I didn't "time" the fight...but I'm telling you it only lasts maybe 20 seconds. Obiwan Anakin and Dooku fight for about 8 seconds, Obiwan gets knocked out, then Anakin and Dooku fight 1on1 and Anakin just totally owns him. Someone in the theater said "...that's it??", and I couldn't agree with him more. What a pointless villain. Speaking of pointless villains, General Grievous is even more useless. I won't get in to how retarded his character is, but I will say that he walks like a [Expletive Deleted F-word]ing Ostrich or something.
Haydens acting is very bad. He tries his hardest to sound menacing when he screams, but it's so dull. It's hard to explain, but for some reason I actually preferred his Episode 2 acting. Chewbacca has no lines in the movie at all. Well, he grunts and growls a couple times, so I guess those are lines, but hardly at all. There's no purpose for him to be there, although...they are showing the wookiee homeworld and we do see a bunch of wookiees so it wouldn't make sense to EXCLUDE Chewie from it.
When Luke and Leia are born, they're the ugliest [Expletive Deleted F-word]ing babies I've ever seen. They look like deformities or something. I'm not so sure it was Anakin who impregnated Padme. They look more like Yoda than anything.
Hm...well, there's more I could go on about but I'm getting tired
Needless to say...it's wierd. I'll see the movie again, I'll buy it on DVD and all of that, because the few good moments the movie does have are worth it...I guess. This is nowhere near as good as the OT, *NOWHERE* near as good as The Empire Strikes Back, and the cheesiness it has just makes it to be a complete joke.
I will end this post with saying one thing, though: R2-D2 owns.