Week 2: Drowning In The Fog


22-07-2007 00:12:47

Drowning in Fog

We come to take technology for granted. From the commlinks we carry to the holonet we use, to the sabers we swing. Here, in the Shroud, facing the Vong with their strange armor, none of our technology seems to be worth anything at all. Surely the Vong relish in that irony, as we scramble to escape their clutches.

They must be laughing at our fear, our confusion as the technology that they hate fails for us.

OOC: This can be from any character's perspective you choose, or from no perspective in particular.


One of the most difficult mediums of expression to master, poetry is great because there is no true limitations as to what you can do.

Use your emotions and paint a picture in the reader's head - after all, a picture's worth a thousand words!

Remember to use similes, metaphors, and other devices like personification, rhyme, and questions directed at the reader.

But most importantly of all, check your SPELLING and GRAMMAR!

If you like, post your poems here to share them with your Clan-mates!


22-07-2007 09:00:15

My idea is to pretend to be a Vong, and pretend Vong think in poetry! So as a vong, I am going to raid a ship, and write my poem about that. HAven't decided if I am going to kill him or not yet ;)


25-07-2007 10:25:27

Remember if you are having trouble with this, you can look at the Shadow Academy course on poetry, and get ideas about different kinds of poems.

Makurth Mandalore

25-07-2007 13:48:53

I had to get some help from my aunt :P She's really good at poetry and she didn't mind helping me a bit :D


25-07-2007 17:48:00

My entry, for review and critique.

Drowning in Fog

Shimrra be praised for his glory!
All Hail to his power!
The eons beyond will tell his story
Causing his enemies to cower

The Infidels run for cover
Hiding behind their useless toys
Soon their mistakes they will discover
For heresy ultimately destroys

The Jeedai hold such regard for their light swords
Not knowing their true threat
They are no match for our hoardes
And will lead only to regret

We shall win this day
And hold our heads high
The Infidels have become our prey
And their end is nigh

/me bows


28-07-2007 09:53:41

Here is my entry, a series of Haiku

We wallow in fear,
While they gloat at our weakness
Our power is lost!

We defile our lives,
So dependant on machines
Lamenting failure

Their organisms
So basic yet powerful
They should not match us

So vulnerable!
Our enemies rejoicing
“We will kill them all!”

There must be a way!
Technology is useless.
We still have the Force…


29-07-2007 12:58:21

And here's mine!


Clouds of mist
Blinding my vision,
Deadening my senses.

Panic overwhelms me.
I cannot see my enemies, mere shadows.
The earth trembles and shakes.

My hands fly,
I work to contact my allies.
My body becomes heavy.

My boots drag along the dirt,
My body begins to sag.
I try to flee.

The fog grows,
Fear and confusion work their chaotic charms.
Desperately, we cling to life.

No one can talk,
As though we are mute,
I charge into the darkness.

A wave crashes over me
Pushes me down under the surface,
I cannot feel.

I cannot hear under the wave,
Nor taste triumph or victory,
Or hear the cries of war.

I cannot small ozone, smoke, corpses,
I am stepped upon,
My body splinters,

Drowning in the fog.


30-07-2007 18:15:30

And here is Mine :P probly not as good as anyone else's

As one we stood mesmerized
Looking at their gift
All they wanted was their prize
Just to leave us adrift

Our cry had just begun
They left us drowning in fog
We have been outdone
Leaving us to choke in the smog

The scent of their power
Gave us nothing but pain
They live to devour
Monsters clearly insane

We scramble to escape
To hide our shame
But as they take shape
They begin to win their war game

The creatures let us take our stand
Our last chance to fight
Most of all they demand
That we watch our men suffer on this night

DJK Malaki (Krath)/FL/Caliburnus of Scholae Palatinae [ACC: INI]
  AC-ToSH / DC-SP / Cr-4S-10E-1T-1Q / CF-SF / LS-BL / S:-1D-2Do-2Dk
  {SA: KS: ToL - AS - IRC - MSN - LA - LF - ACC - CM - D: KCORE - TW - HS1 - PRH - AST - TE - TS - LS - MRK}

GJW 2007


06-08-2007 06:29:39

No one seems to like using the set forms of poems, though yours are of a high calibre. I'll give you guys a proper look over when i get back from my vacation (has a knack for understanding poems, not writing them)

Anyways, my horrible poem:

A fickle bane lays in wait,
A surge from another past,
An imbedded sense of hate,
Blasphemy to the last.

The greedy, the corrupt,
Purified in by our holy flame,
The powerful we disrupt,
With this purpose we came.

Metal tears at our soul,
Lifeless, and dead,
Void as a black hole,
Black oil they bled.

We shall be the purifiers
We shall be the death dealers.