Why I Write - Bloodfyre

Sith Bloodfyre

27-03-2011 11:38:25

I've put a lot of time into considering this topic. You would think, it should be easy to explain why I write. The fact is, it is not an easy explanation. Or, rather, it really took a lot of pondering on my part to figure out exactly what I wanted to express to each of you about this in particular.

I am an incredibly social person. I like people. I don't have to be the focal point of any group, I don't have to be the man doing all the talking, even though sometimes, I am. I just like being around people. I like the interaction between myself and others. I prefer face-to-face conversation to anything; talking over the phone is next, while emailing and texting is definitely last. There is a limit in what can actually be accomplished conversationally with emails and texts. There is a lack of body language; which makes up a rather large portion of how we communicate with others. Our body stance, movements, facial expressions, postures and so on determine part of our conversation, and how people receive the information we are attempting to pass on.

And yet, for me, there are certain things that I just find it impossible to pass on conversationally. The great majority of the time, I know exactly what I want to say, how I want to say it, and how I need to express myself completely in front of people. I am a Paramedic, so I often express myself in great detail on any number of topics very frequently. I practice talking a lot, just because my job means I have to. And yet, there really are times when there are things that just... don't come to me, I suppose is a way to say it. There are times when I just really can't grasp something right away. I then take time to think it out, and I find that, in writing letters, emails, stories or otherwise, that somehow, the time away from all of the other stimulus helps calm my mind, and keep me focused on exactly what I want to say.

Within the Brotherhood, it is a lot like that. We can communicate over IRC, which is much like texting, because it removes all of the body language in a conversation, but we've adapted to that with "emotes" and other methods of helping to breach the body language barrier. And there are times when I am conversing with some people over IRC, that I find myself pondering what to say. And, within the Brotherhood, there are often times when, particularly in competitive arenas, when we are expected to really provoke things fictionally, move them forward, and so on. This also crosses into my present job as Quaestor, to help provide a stimulating, motivating environment.

I guess I write because my mind is often entirely active throughout the day, considering new challenges, new possibilities in my life over every facet of my life, and this Club, and sometimes, it just helps keep me calm and focused enough on any one particular thing to accomplish specific goals. I don't think it's quite ADHD or anything like that, but to me, writing helps calm and focus me on anything. I can write notes about specific challenges, journal entries, outlines, plans of action, whatever. And, when I am focused on how my writing appears (pen on paper, and I want my writing neat; word processor, and I want my writing rational), it allows me to be more productive, I guess.