You might be a Redneck Jedi if...


03-02-2005 22:15:27

You might be a Redneck Jedi if...

. . . you use your lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer.
. . . you say "these are not the beers you are looking for."
. . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.
. . . the inside of your house looks more like Dagobah than the outside.
. . . you call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
. . . you have ever used telekinesis to pull your jeans up.
. . . the Force isn't the only thing that runs in your family.
. . . you call Hank Williams Jr. "master".
. . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.
. . . you meditate to old CCR records.
. . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
. . . you have ever said, "Anger...Fear...Aggression...Yankees...the dark side are they."
. . . your X-Wing has a still in it.
. . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.
. . . there is more oil in your robes than in your astromech droid.
. . . your robes have the Golden Flour label on them.
. . . you trim your beard and find a Mylock.
. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
. . . you use Jawas for a drink holders.
. . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
. . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.
. . . you use your Jedi healing powers to clear up your V.D.
. . . you think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
. . . you ever lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.
. . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
. . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
. . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
. . . you can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
. . . you think Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
. . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
. . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark'll be a hoot."
. . . you have ever had your R2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light.
. . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
. . . you beat the Gammorean Guard in an "ugly" contest.
. . . your father's name is Garth Vader.
. . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
. . . you have ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin' at your sister.
. . . you constantly mistake R2 units for beer kegs.
. . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.
. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.


15-02-2005 20:41:01

Whats wrong with doin that stuff? I do it all the time...


16-02-2005 11:29:19

never said anything was wrong with it :P


16-02-2005 18:29:46

You have way to much time on your hands. If you used this kind of energy in the Kros we might actually win it :P


16-02-2005 22:06:27

Good job Quejo - you're already starting to learn how to be a hard-ass QUA for when I leave :P

On a side note, I really like my avatar lol

Ark Dowell

10-06-2005 19:07:28

Lol. How'd you think of those? Anyways, redneck Jedis are awesome! :lol:

I'm new on the forums, by the way.


16-06-2005 00:38:12

Greetings Ark, good to have you aboard!

Ark Dowell

16-06-2005 17:51:11

Greetings Ark, good to have you aboard!

Thanks! I feel special now. :D


16-06-2005 17:55:45

HAPPINESS!!!! gotta love it. All the members are special whether they realize it or not :P


16-06-2005 18:21:59

So much for Quejo being a "hard ass QUA" :P


16-06-2005 19:04:47



19-06-2005 12:28:24

*Konar skulls a bottle of brandy before sticking a ciggy in his mouth, lighting it, then readying his 2x Westar-34s. He is wearing cowboy clothes*

--the cowbow dueling music can be heard--

Aint no Arconian messin wif a good ol' Sadow here! You may be a SW already, and me still a knight, but aint no no goodin warrior a match for a warrior and a knight.

*Konar draws both guns out*


19-06-2005 21:23:42

I will be a redneck Jedi as soon as I get my DJK :P

Kaine Mandaala

19-06-2005 22:38:31

... and there you have it.


19-06-2005 23:21:02

lol kaine, very nice konar, i like the western approach :P

Hitokiri Bokuzen Mifune

06-08-2005 17:32:37

Dude, awesome picture... I think that's one of my relatives. By the way, you might be a Redneck Jedi if you opened a beer for Padme's, or Darth Vader's, funeral, and gave cheers to them.

Ceric Crimson

28-09-2005 17:22:47

wow, this thread has been inactive for some time.

Lets see...other than the fact that my landspeeder does have a gun rack, and that I have skinned SOMETHING with a lightsaber...nothing else really applies.

Not much for beer either, I prefer vodka (Russians, what can you do?).

Ark Dowell

28-09-2005 19:05:18

I like vodka, too.

Ceric Crimson

28-09-2005 19:45:33

I have a feeling we're going to get along just fine. :D

Ark Dowell

28-09-2005 20:25:48


*Opens a can of beer*

i never stop drinking... :P

Kaelin Ring

28-09-2005 22:37:43

I heard that Ark drains Galeres' supply of Alcy in one day!

Ceric Crimson

29-09-2005 15:29:49

Heh, my kind of guy!

(us Russians and our vodka)

Ark Dowell

29-09-2005 15:30:49

Heh. Alcohol is good!

Kaelin Ring

29-09-2005 22:20:38

Ever had hypnotic mixed with x-rated? lol, not that I have...

Ark Dowell

30-09-2005 13:42:29

Everything I drink has alcohol in it.

*Pours a cup of lemonade*

*Mixes with wine*

Kaelin Ring

30-09-2005 15:25:47

You probably don't check what you drink then...

Ceric Crimson

30-09-2005 15:58:16

Why check when you can CHUG!!


30-09-2005 16:03:51

I like your attitude.

Kaine Mandaala

01-10-2005 16:47:47

Topic Closed due to Spam.

The next time you guys want to chat, log into IRC. Never - ever - post 24 messages back and forth in the span of 5 minutes again. If you do, everyone involved is getting suspended from the forums.

I have deleted everything past here. Spam has its place and this is not it.