You might be a Redneck Jedi if...

You might be a Redneck Jedi if...

. . . you use your lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer.
. . . you say "these are not the beers you are looking for."
. . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.
. . . the inside of your house looks more like Dagobah than the outside.
. . . you call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
. . . you have ever used telekinesis to pull your jeans up.
. . . the Force isn't the only thing that runs in your family.
. . . you call Hank Williams Jr. "master".
. . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.
. . . you meditate to old CCR records.
. . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
. . . you have ever said, "Anger...Fear...Aggression...Yankees...the dark side are they."
. . . your X-Wing has a still in it.
. . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.
. . . there is more oil in your robes than in your astromech droid.
. . . your robes have the Golden Flour label on them.
. . . you trim your beard and find a Mylock.
. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
. . . you use Jawas for a drink holders.
. . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
. . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.
. . . you use your Jedi healing powers to clear up your V.D.
. . . you think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
. . . you ever lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.
. . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
. . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
. . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
. . . you can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
. . . you think Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
. . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
. . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
. . . you have ever had your R2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light.
. . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
. . . you beat the Gammorean Guard in an "ugly" contest.
. . . your father's name is Garth Vader.
. . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
. . . you have ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin' at your sister.
. . . you constantly mistake R2 units for beer kegs.
. . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.
. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.

Whats wrong with doin that stuff? I do it all the time...

never said anything was wrong with it

You have way to much time on your hands. If you used this kind of energy in the Kros we might actually win it

Good job Quejo - you're already starting to learn how to be a hard-ass QUA for when I leave

On a side note, I really like my avatar lol

Lol. How'd you think of those? Anyways, redneck Jedis are awesome!

I'm new on the forums, by the way.

Greetings Ark, good to have you aboard!

Greetings Ark, good to have you aboard!




Thanks! I feel special now.

HAPPINESS!!!! gotta love it. All the members are special whether they realize it or not

So much for Quejo being a "hard ass QUA"

DONT MAKE ME GUT YOU LIKE A FISH LITTLE BOY!!!

*Konar skulls a bottle of brandy before sticking a ciggy in his mouth, lighting it, then readying his 2x Westar-34s. He is wearing cowboy clothes*

--the cowbow dueling music can be heard--

Aint no Arconian messin wif a good ol' Sadow here! You may be a SW already, and me still a knight, but aint no no goodin warrior a match for a warrior and a knight.

*Konar draws both guns out*

I will be a redneck Jedi as soon as I get my DJK

... and there you have it.

lol kaine, very nice konar, i like the western approach

Dude, awesome picture... I think that's one of my relatives. By the way, you might be a Redneck Jedi if you opened a beer for Padme's, or Darth Vader's, funeral, and gave cheers to them.

wow, this thread has been inactive for some time.

Lets see...other than the fact that my landspeeder does have a gun rack, and that I have skinned SOMETHING with a lightsaber...nothing else really applies.

Not much for beer either, I prefer vodka (Russians, what can you do?).

I like vodka, too.

I have a feeling we're going to get along just fine.

Ya.

*Opens a can of beer*

i never stop drinking...

I heard that Ark drains Galeres' supply of Alcy in one day!

Heh, my kind of guy!

(us Russians and our vodka)

Heh. Alcohol is good!

Ever had hypnotic mixed with x-rated? lol, not that I have...

Everything I drink has alcohol in it.

*Pours a cup of lemonade*

*Mixes with wine*

You probably don't check what you drink then...

Why check when you can CHUG!!

I like your attitude.

Topic Closed due to Spam.

The next time you guys want to chat, log into IRC. Never - ever - post 24 messages back and forth in the span of 5 minutes again. If you do, everyone involved is getting suspended from the forums.

I have deleted everything past here. Spam has its place and this is not it.