Arcona Competition


29-07-2005 21:22:45

Below is a series of 15 pointless questions… which are part of the Arcona Clan Competition: The Stupidity Continues.

Answer them to the best of your ability. Remember, this is a Clan competition so it would be wise to formulate your own answers for some of the questions 

**Note: If you are not in Arcona, please don’t post – your post will be deleted, thanks.**

1) How fat was Jabba’s momma?
2) What’s DA Corran Halcyon Arconae’s (Arcona Consul) favorite flavor of ice cream?
3) If you had to describe the smell that lurked beneath Vader’s clothing, how would you describe it?
4) Who is Han Solo’s baby-momma’s-daddy?
5) If SWM Quejo Bandon Drakai (Oriens Obscurum Quaestor) was on fire, how many Ewoks would it take to pee the fire out and why?
6) How many Jedi (light) does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
7) What’s the difference between KE Denath Ciarus (Qel-Droma Quaestor) and a power coupling?
8) When that b*tch, Luke, was frontin’ on the AT’s on Hoth, what was his punk-a** gunner’s name?
9) If DJm Mejas Doto (HQD) fell down in the forest, would he make a sound? Why?
10) If a ho is equal the distance between two pimps, such as the GM, and Pimp #1 is rockin’ Air Jordan’s (red, black and white – circa 1985 :P) while Pimp #2 is decked out in some fly platforms with fish swimming in the heel – who would win in the race to smack da ho first?
11) If DA Khobai Arconae Wrathraven (HOO) downed enough Ale to make the nastiest member the DB attractive, who would he wake up with?
12) Name all of the planets of Arcona’s system.
13) If KPN Dalthid (Arcona ProConsul) ever decided to take a shower, what kind of soap would he use?
14) Which characters uttered the phrase "May the Force be with you" in the films?
15) If Chewbacca punted Yoda into a “Dewflap”, where would he be?


Hitokiri Bokuzen Mifune

29-07-2005 22:10:42

1.) Jabba's momma was so fat that everytime she took a step, the people on Tatooine were complaining about sinkholes, and earthquakes.

2.) Chocolate

3.) It would have to be described as rotten feces, if that's possible, and decaying flesh.

4.) Anakin Skywalker

5.) It would probably take the entire village of Ewoks, because Master Bandon would either try to kill them all, or use his fire to set them ablaze.

6.) 13, because it would take the entire Jedi Counsil to tell one Jedi that it's ok for him to do it.

7.) A power coupling makes you go numb, whereas KE Denath Ciarus would dominate you, and make sure you feel EVERYTHING.

8.) Dak

9.) DJM Mejas Doto would probably wake up everyone on the other side of the planet, because he would trip over his own foot, not being able to see it, knock one tree down, that will end up knocking them all down like dominos.

10.) Pimp #2 would be the first to smack the ho, because Pimp #2 will end up stomping down on Pimp #1, turning him into Bantha fodder.

11.) He would probably wake up with all the Initiates in his bed, because everyone knows there's nothing more worse than being a Dark Jedi Adept, and being found with tons of Initiates asleep around you.

12.) Nesh, Dajorra, Eldar

13.) If KPN Dalthid were to decided to take a shower, however unlikely, there wouldn't be enough soap, or a bar of soap, strong enough to clean him up.

14.) Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Mace Windu, Anakin Skywalker

15.) I'd say that Yoda would probably be far beyound the Outer Rim Territories, and we would end up learning the locations of other star systems for us to invade.

-PRT Hitokiri Bokuzen Mifune

*Everything has been said for humor's sake. Please do not take anything personal.

Ark Dowell

29-07-2005 22:33:34

1. As fat as I am. I drink 1, 000 cans of beer everyday. Just imagine the size of my beer gut.
2. Alcohol flavored. Much like mine.
3. I think he was lying about being Luke's father. I smell rum.
4. His Grandpa, Jabba the Hutt.
5. Infinite. If he drinks as much rum as I do, the peeing will make the fire bigger if anything.
6. Just one. Tell him to screw himself in. He's Light, after all.
7. He ain't anywhere near as bright as a power coupling. (Sry Denath!)
8. Shut Up B*tch. (First name, middle, and last)
9. No, he's been dead for some time already.
10. She'd smack herself first for forgetting about the payment. :P
11. He'd wake up by himself. There's no one uglier. Except maybe Dalthid. (No offense y'all.)
12. I only know the names of planet that have heavy alcohol presense. Sry. B)
13. Depends on which ones are available in the Hutts' bathing room.
14. Light Jedis who worshipped it like God.
15. Yoda wouldn't know unless he spent days meditating.

EDIT- Plese don't be offended. This is mostly a joke.


30-07-2005 07:09:06

1) Jabba's momma was actually slightly smaller than jabba, however, she was also very into "chocolate bod soaks". Consequently, when Jabba was born he instantly devoured her, leaving him in his current bloated state.

2) Halcyon is actually allergic toice cream, however he can partake in small midnight sessions of "frozen yoghurt races".

3) A delicious woody aroma, filled with leathers, anger and a pinch of cumin.

4) The system pervert of Coronoda - aka Voranyen.

5) A little known fact - Ewok urine is actually highly flammable, so in this instance, Quejo would only burn faster and more painfully shoudl those screwed up teddy bears get anywhere near him.

6) They're so full of that crappy LIGHT SIDE stuff they don't use lightbulbs.

7) The power coupling actually has some power, and while it also states "coupling2 again, Denath is lonely with only his own hand for company.

8) George W.

9) Most definately so. Falling down (especially due to power crazed drink binges) is one of Mejas's worst habits.Randomly throughout time he has been know to fall. He can fall up satirs, on flat ground, even in a 0 gravity atmosphere. When he DOES fall, the Master of Shadows always releases such an unearthly "F*CK!" it's felt through the force all over the Galaxy. Thus he would kinda make a sound.

10) Those fish boots provide unearthly powers. Plus if you get pecish and need an energy boost you just eat the fish. the SMACK DAT BTCH UP!

11) Hahhahahah - Lexy Norris or possibly Manlik with Kaiann taped to his back!

12) Steve, Andy, John, Mejas, JaM3z, Voranyen, Dave, Philip, Anastasia and Phyllis.

13) The soap made from Jawa fat witha sprinkling of Bantha poodoo from free range banthas wh ahs been raised only on the finsest smelling flowers. Or maybe ven some shredded episode one scripting. We all know that smelt like sh*t...

14) Usually the weak, pathetic, sexualy deprived ones.

15) A bantha's female labia majorra/labia minora. To be honest I don't want to think about that too much - but I bet the Bantha would...having that little green guy with those pointed ears wriggling around inside Kinda like a rampant rabbit powered by the Force!


30-07-2005 07:47:44

1) Jabba’s momma is SO fat that she can eclipse both of tatooine’s suns.

2) Roasted Light-sider.

3) A rather musky odor.

4) The same person as Han’s wife’s-brother’s-father.

5) Every Ewok on Endor, as they would all be arguing who should do it first.

6) 1, but he would have to meditate on the meaning of the screwing in of the light bulb first.

7) Depends on whether the power coupling is on or off.

8) That dude wat died.

9) He would, because he would be shouting at the guy that pushed him.

10) Pimp #1………no Pimp #2………… Pimp #1

11) Himself (Just kidding).

12) This one, That one, and The other one.

13) Industrial-strength soap.

14) Erm….him, that guy, what’s his name, and the guy I can’t remember.

15) 3 waves short of a shipwreck.


30-07-2005 11:58:45

1. About as big as my mom. *scratches his head*
2. My answer to this question is not only inappropiate but it is disgusting let's just say it isnt vanilla.
3. A moist butt smell with a hint of mango.
5. I would rather burn then be urinated on by these piss filled Ewoks. FIND A TREE DAMN IT! but to answer your question it would take 2. not 1. not 3 but 2.
6. I would say that this feat would be impossible. So my answer would have to be none.
7. Power cupplings constantly work. :P
8. Dhak I think. But who cares?
9. Yeah he'd probably blather on with mispelled words and inforce the doto doctrine on the world.
10. Pimp 1 dont care if it's wrong but it's my answer and I stand by it.
11. Lenzar. or you.
12.uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Crack head, piss ant and Boral.
13. he wouldnt use soap instead he would get the air freshener from his ship and tie it around his neck. less effort involved.
14. Oobi doobi scooby dooby balooby.
15. Jamaica smoking a joint.

If this offends you get over it :P MUAHAHAHAHAHA


30-07-2005 12:09:28

1) Jabba's mum was so fat that she had smaller Hutts orbiting around her.
2) The "lets get smashed and change my DB name" flavour. Bastard stole it from me last week.
3) As the only perfume that could repulse Voranyen's libido.
4) His cousin, sister and wife.
5) The more the merrier.
6) Two; one to reveal the chosen switch to the lightbulb, one to betray and overthrow the lightbulb, one to redeem the lightbulb, one to rebuild the electric system and one to count for me.
7) The sense of humor. Note to self, poison Dalthid's food.
8) I don't know. But Wedge Antilles was shot down and killed and later destroyed the Death Star.
9) He would make many constant sounds, sending them one per day until the entire House participated in picking him up :)
10) If Jac was about to be smacked by people in those shoes, he would smack himself first.
11) He would wake up in a steel box full of raw sewage.
12) Coronada Prime, Mar Sala, Garrida and Joharta - and yes, my internet may be a little laggy from Australia.
13) Since he shares a planet with Alex, Khobai and Voranyen, it'd be soap with rope. Lots of rope.
14) The only actors we've ever heard of. Except for the guy playing Luke.
15) Digitally drawn into every frame in the intervening distance, causing excessive delays in the replay.

Kaelin Ring

30-07-2005 16:07:30

1) Jabba’s momma was sooooooooo fat that she saw a yellow star destroyer flying by, with them white storm troopers inside, she ran after it yelling, “Stop that twinkie!!!”
2) Bantha Poo-Doo flavored.
3) The sweet sickly smell of rotting flesh over an open flame.
4) Jon Carey the Fairy
5) An entire clan, they need to mark their territory!
6) 2, a master to tell his padawan to be mindful of his feelings, and a padawan to shove it up his…
7) He’s a lonely, lonely man. A power coupling gets more action than he does.
8) The Govenator.
9) Hell ya, people would think the planet was being crushed by a meteor the size of Uranus.
10) Pimp #3, Corran Halcyon Arconae, he wears K-Swiss.
11) Ponitfex Dalthid, he one ugly dude!!! Maybe even the GM!!!
12) Gosh…umm let’s see… there’s Pampers, Depends, Kotex, Trojan… am I missing any?
13) A tub of soap with scent of Rancor.
14) Wow, I tried this once… every time someone says, “May the force be with you” you drink a shot. I’ve never been so wasted in my life.
15) The black hole. A.K.A. Jabba’s momma’s a**!!!

Karan Callidus Entar

31-07-2005 15:16:34

1. Jabba’s mamma was so fat she was like a really fat fat thing that had gotten really fat by being a fat fatty.

2. People.

3. Pie. Person pie. Burnt pie I’ll admit but pie nonetheless. Now I want pie.

4. Erm…yo mamma!

5. I think the more pressing question is: why would we want to put it out?

6. Changing light bulbs is a job for local electricians, not Jedi!

7. Ones an inanimate object and the other does as much work as one. Sorry Denath, I love you really

8. It doesn’t really matter what his name was. The important thing is, he got squished like a bug, hahaha!!!

9. Are you kidding? He’d never shut up moanin about it!

10. Erm……erm…errrr…pie?

11. I’d rather just forget that incident…

12. Meow.

13. If KPN Dalthid decided to take a shower I’d wonder where the hell the four horsemen were.

14. Han, Luke, Yoda, Mace, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon…OMG a sensible answer!!!

15. o.O I really don’t want to even THINK about that one.

Disclaimer: This post is a joke and is no way meant to actually offend anyone. The points put into the post are not necessarily the views of the creator. If anyone is offended please feel free to go and fornicate yourself with a pair of rusty gardening shears. Its a mess about! Get over it!


04-08-2005 03:57:08

1: so fat that when tarkin saw her he got the first idea for the deathstar

2: rum and raisin (without the raisins and plenty of rum)

3: well you know when he supposidly uses the force to sufocate people, well the truth is that he just allows his BO to escape in a certain direction.

4: the same daddy of han solo's brother in law

5: the entire planets worth because after he has had his fun by running around ignigting everything in site, the ewoks would eventualy get to gether to stop his rampage.

6: well jedi it would take most of the accademies worth because they are so badly trained that everytime they picked up the bulb with the force they would smash it.

7: well i dont realy know the guy but from what i have heard a 9 volt battery has more power then him, so a power socket... well...

8: dak raltir

9: well if mejas was walking thjrough the forrest and fell down he would not go quietly, knowing him he would trip over his own clothing and stumble into the nearest loose tree, this would then procede to collapse taking nearby trees with it, and low and behold forestry dommino rally

10: me, cos i would get there before da lot of em and smak da [Expletive Deleted]e out of em all before they could smak da ho

11: well if he got that drunk i would say that he would have been tied to the nearest lamppost with ducktape, so it would depend what hobo slept under the lamp post, my guess would be Mejas

12: erm well there is wiskers, kitty kat and go cat.....oh wait thats what i feed my cat

13: sorry people but i gota go with Mejas on this one esspecialy the last comment.

14: erm well the wierd guy with the realy dodgy hair style

15: somewhere we we all have been at some drunken moment in our lives


06-08-2005 06:57:25

1. She is so fat she orbits Nal Hutta

2. Black colored strawberry

3. A bloody scent

4. Darth Vader

5. It takes a clan of ewoks, in the end everybody has to relieve themselves so every ewok should join

6. It takes three jedis, one to hold a ladder, one to screw it on, and one to cut the ladder in half so the dark side may not use it.

7. Denath Ciarus is darker than the power coupling. The power coupling is colorful Denath Ciarus is very dark.

8. Mr. Gunnerman

9. No he wouldn't. because he would die before he could make any sounds

10. pimp #2

11. He would wake up with a rancor who had the same amount of ale.

12. Is Arcona even a system

13. Blood soap so he can be bloodthirsty when he's not even fighting.

14. Yoda

15. Stuck in the sarlace pit


09-08-2005 11:57:36

1.So fat that everytime she turned around there would be another ice age, though she wouldnt care i'd also be her birthday...

2.Peach melba with an umberella in... (and sprinkles on top)

3.A cross between "new-car-smell" and toasted wookie with a touch of eau de dalthid

4.Ewoke Cheif Hallan Solo

5.An infinate amount, everytime an ewoke pee'd on him another would set him alight again for entertainment

6, one to be on top one on the bottom and another to disaprove but join in anyway...
(read carefully... "screw in a lightbulb"...)

7.Power cupplings sometimes let go, Denath is sooo clingy...cough... or so i heard...*whistles innocently*...

8.Mac Daddy Pimpin' ho'ing blingin' a**ing gangsta...... Ben Kenobi

9.Yes, beacuse a wise man somewhere in hongkong sayso (or does he... ? oooooooo woooooo )

10.#pimp2 as, he cleaverly pointed out, the starting line is also the finishing line...

11.*gulp* Telona....

12.Well there is Arcona Prime, Arcona Prima, and Arcona M15 Primia, Arcona Alpha Centuria Prime, oh and dont forget Arcona Prime M32..

13. Pummas

14. everyone of them, yoda had a bet going the the person who could say it the most times would get a taste of the light side...(what ever that meant??)

15. Ask chewbacca... though i think he's busy at the moment..


09-08-2005 12:55:28

1) Not as fat as yo momma!
2) Whatever's free
3) Cross between Dalthid and a rotting bantha
4) Yo momma!
5) None...they'd let him burn
6) One, but it'd take them decades to come to that decision
7) The power coupling's useful
8) Rebel Fodder #6
9) Hed yel fro smoeone to hepl hmi btu thyed not undrestadn hsi wodrs
10) They'd give up and smack yo momma instead!
11) The love child of Quejo and Vlanir
12) Yo Momma!
13) Soap made from the flesh of Awoled members
14) All the pansy-ass ones?
15) In yo momma!