Sbm Zandro Erinos Vs. Jh Inarya


01-11-2009 07:30:52

Sashar glanced around the newly created Arcona Arena, a swell of pride threatening to spill out into a smile over his features before he regained composure and turned to the two combatants, both standing before him, the tension veritably bubbling forth from them in the force.

“Zandro, you have brought a lightsaber, a WESTAR 34 Blaster Pistol and are wearing your Soulfire Armour. Inarya, you have brought two DL-44 Heavy Blaster Pistols and your Black Hammer Armour. Remember, no fatalities. Go!” The Consul ordered, stepping back, giving the two Arconans room to move, and to fight.


01-11-2009 15:37:08

Zandro eyes were glaring beneath his helmet as he surveyed the woman before him, his fingers flexing as his hand waited poised above the blaster strapped to his right thigh. He looked at the armoured figure before him and seethed at the audacity of the newly created Black Hammer Brigade. He had been challenged by three of their members already to matches in the Arcona Arena and he was starting to feel just a little bit singled out.

That's what you get when you volunteer yourself for challenges. Note to self, never again.

Mere seconds had passed since the match had begun and Zandro's inner dialogue was cut short before it could get even more verbose thanks to Inarya leaping into action. She had a blaster in each of her hands and was spraying crimson bolts at the Battlemaster who swiftly plucked his lightsaber from his belt and began to bat away the bolts. Zandro managed to block all of the bolts and send them fizzing into the sandy floor of the arena before he began to advance slowly, blocking the constant stream of bolts that came his way. The blasts, though not as accurate as they could have been, were numerous enough to make parrying them all away a big challenge for the Battlemaster whose imperfect Soresu technique was not quite up to the task. A single bolt managed to fly past the Arconae's guard and slammed into the middle of his torso armour, knocking him backwards from the force of the blast.


Zandro crashed to the ground and groaned slightly as he felt a bruise forming beneath the armour which the blast had hit. The shot had failed to penetrate the hefty armour, but that didn't mean that it hadn't hurt the Sith and Zandro focused some of his Force energy into nullifying the pain that was spreading from the wound [CTP]. The shots stopped momentarily as his opponent wondered whether she had in fact already won the battle, the crowd silent apart from a few murmors of surprise.

Need to move, if I stay here I will die.

Darting into action, Zandro began to roll as quickly as he could to the side to hide behind the nearest pillar, using it's temporary cover to scramble to his feet and thumb off his saber. Clipping the weapon back to his belt, Zandro hauled the Westar-34 pistol from its holster on his thigh, brought the weapon up and ran around the pillar, firing as he went.


03-11-2009 16:34:50

The Twi’lek darted out of the way of the first few shots that rain on her position. A smile crept across her lips, was starting think that he wasn’t even going to try. Her smile soon left her face as another cluster of blaster fire came her way, each one of then getting close to her body. Inarya rolled out of the way once more, this time the shot clipped her shoulder leaving a noticeable nick in her armour. She shrugged it off focusing her mind for the next round of fire.

Only a little longer

Another flurry of red beams pinned her on the stop, she could do nothing but wait this one out. Inarya danced avoiding as many of them as she could, the others bouncing off her armour. She silently counted the shoots in her head, she knew it was only a matter of time before she would make her move. Her train of thought was broken by a sharp pain in her right arm, she could feel the trickle of blood flowing down her arm. Inarya grabbed the chance to glace at the wound, it wasn’t anything thing she couldn’t handle.

The area went quite as the shoots from her opponent’s gun fell silent. She now knew that now was the perfect time to make her move. The young Twi’lek took to her feet, firing as she ran towards the Sith Battlemaster. He moved fast, holstering his weapon and grabbing the lightsabre from his hilt. Inarya had no time to react, as the Sith slashed at her she just had the chance to jump back out of the way, the crimson blade narrowly avoiding the Twi’lek’s throat.


09-11-2009 12:37:27

Dialogue is then two people speak. Monologue is for one. You can't have an inner dialogue with yourself unless you're skitzophrenic =P

Used 'bolts' twice in a sentence. Sloppy. You can do better. Correction: You used 'bolts' five times in a paragraph. Very sloppy. Re-read your posts before posting them and you'll catch this sort of thing.

Just a little petty complaint: a WESTAR 34 weighs about as much as Maxi after he's had a [Expletive Deleted]. You wouldn't haul it, as it's light as [Expletive Deleted] - hauling implies something heavier.

A blaster bolt hitting your shoulder armour wouldn't 'nick' it - it'd burn the metal, scalding you, and if the shot was dead on, probably drill through your shoulder blade, immobilising your arm. Remember, SW armour rarely completely negates blaster damage - even Zandro, who had his SF armour on, registered physical damage from a blaster bolt, and that [Expletive Deleted] is [Expletive Deleted]ing hardcore.

You're 'dancing' around blaster bolts in the second paragraph. No. You have a DEX of 18 and aren't boosting yourself with the force. That'd be like saying a semi-professional athlete can 'dance' around bullets. Not possible. Don't god mode :P

Again, you've god blaster bolts 'bouncing' off your armour. Not gonna happen. See previous comments.

Blaster bolts are generally heat damage and, like lightsabers, would instantly cauterise the wound, so there wouldn't be a trickle of blood - just a tuckfon of charred flesh and 1st degree burns around the bolt's impact point.

"Inarya had no time to react, as the Sith slashed at her she just had the chance to jump back out of the way," <--you're contradicting yourself here. If you have no time to react, then you get hit. :P

Zandro, ffs, RE-READ YOUR POSTS BEFORE PUTTING THEM UP! Other than the relatively minor quibbles, it was a solid effort. Not particularly flashy or showy, but it was enough to get the job done.

Inarya, You've gotta learn how to write your and your opponents' characters more accurately and in line with their respective CS's, otherwise you'll fall into these pitfalls time again.

Also, if you're gonna write in the SW universe, I'd suggest boning up on the weapons you're likely to see and their effects, just so you don't get caught out like this again.

Win goes to Zandro.

Zandro = 12 points

Inarya = 4 points