Ot Juda Vs. Djk Jaecyn
Sashar glanced around the newly created Arcona Arena, a swell of pride threatening to spill out into a smile over his features before he regained composure and turned to the two combatants, both standing before him, the tension veritably bubbling forth from them in the force.
“Juda, you have brought a lightsaber and an A280 Blaster Rifle. Jaecyn, you have brought a lightsaber. Remember, no fatalities. Go!” The Consul ordered, stepping back, giving the two Arconans room to move, and to fight.
Juda Kodiak, a Mandalorian hailing from Dxun stood valiantly in the circled arena, his scuffed, war-torn armour reflecting the light as he crossed his arms and patiently awaited his Consul to step out of the arena. His emerald eyes piercing his opponent’s as Jaecyn paced forward, unclipping his lightsaber and activating it with an aggressive snap. The blade drowning it’s immediate periphery in a silvery glow as he drew closer to the Obelisk Templar and attacked in an arc with a grunt. Juda stepped onto his strong foot and swiftly activated his own blade in a flash of yellow, rebounding the attack off at an odd angle before countering with a side slash.
Jaecyn avoided the strike by arching his spine and instantly sprung back with a rapid stab that could have effortlessly ended the battle and Juda’s life had he not coiled his wrist to bounce away the attack, leaving his chest open. The Knight took the opportunity and spun on his heel before unleashing a vicious side-kick, catching Juda in the gut. The Mandalorian winced as he hooked his free arm around Jaecyn’s leg, pushing through the pain of his prior strike to bring his yellow blade around to lop off the Qel-Droman’s leg.
The Shadow Knight’s eyes widened and he practically yelped through gritted teeth as he briskly rebounded the attack before urging the Force to repel Juda [PSH]. The subtle telekinetic assist knocked Juda off balance momentarily giving Jaecyn the advantage.
Jaecyn bounced forward and slashed at the Shadesworn again, the assassin stalked backwards across the uneven ground, deflecting his attacker’s strikes all the while formulating a plan. The Knight bounded forward with a powerful stroke, clashing lightsabers with a crackle before Juda lunged, pushing all of his weight forward and drove his skull into the young Qel-Droman’s nose. Jaecyn flinched, his eyes watering from the attack as he called upon the Force and bounded backwards away from his opponent [JMP].
Juda allowed a grin to creep across his blood-splattered visage, as he stormed towards his opponent, lightsaber held firmly in hand.
Jaecyn could feel blood gushing down his nose and over his lips, eclipsing his chin and moving down towards his neck. His tongue snaked out and traveled over his lips, the iron taste of his blood greeting it. He twirled his blade once, his body was a bit drained of energy. He was not stranger to battle though, he still had lot left in him before this match was over do to exhaustion. He started towards the Obelisk Templar, his blade spinning in his right hand, the obvious style of Shii Cho evident. As he came towards the Templar he spun and brought it to his left hand, swinging the off handed strike down on top of him. The Templar stepped back and easily was able to deflect the blow, a confused look on his face.
Jaecyn continued his assault towards the Templar, having a bit more trickery up his sleeve. He moved towards the Templar again and swung his blade with his right hand towards Jud's mid-section. As Judo moved to deflect the blow, Jaecyn would slide his finger over the igniter switch and the blade would disappear, his swing following through and allowing enough momentum for him to duck down and deliver a sweeping kick that would put Juda on his back. Though Jaecyn jumped back several steps and assumed a defensive stance. The only reason he'd been able to execute the attack was because of his speed, without it the plan would have failed.
Juda quickly lept to his feet, a slight shade of anger gracing his face. He quickly started towards Jaecyn, swinging his blade towards the Dark Knight, Jaecyn was able to defect one but was met by a strong force push [PSH] as soon as he regained his composure. He was thrown backwards and slammed against the ground, the breath being knocked from him. Juda moved towards him, slicing downwards in an almost killing blow, but Jaecyn managed to move out of the way. The blade still grazed his arm lightly as he pushed himself to his feet and readied himself in a defensive stance a few feet from the Templar. Blood trickled down his torn robes from where the wound was. He winced slightly from the pain as well as the lack of energy from blood lose that was beginning to occur.
"You are a very formidable opponent, Juda..." He smiled, through bloody teeth, "I'm glad your on my side..." he spoke unsure of what he said was necessarily true or not.
“Talking in times of battle is for politicians or the Kraith.” Juda snarled as he circled his opponent, deactivating his lightsaber and hooking it to his belt. “Don’t mistake me for either.”
The Mandalorian charged for Jaecyn, and sprang into a butterfly kick that the Knight avoided by stepping to the side, Juda landed, kicking up a cluster of sand and brought his heavy rifle to his front while Jaecyn took the initiative and attacked. The Mandalorian assassin swiftly brought the butt of his weapon around and clubbed the Qel-Droman around the face with a torrential crack, splitting his eyebrow.
Juda’s onslaught continued, slugging a flurry of punches at his opponent after shrugging his weapon over his shoulder. Jaecyn managed to keep up with his attacker, the pair moving as if they were one, striking and parrying while making their way gradually around the arena before Jaecyn promptly lashed out with his leg, catching Juda’s jaw with a well aimed axe-kick.
The assassin buckled as bright orbs interfered with his vision for a moment before Jaecyn lunged forward, unleashing his lightsaber and attacking in an arc of pallid blue, Juda instinctively let his legs buckle from beneath him and slammed into the ground hard while bringing his rifle up from under his arm, the muzzle aimed point blank at Jaecyn’s crotch.
The Knight’s blood-coated features twisted into a picture of horror and resentment as he stared anxiously at the grinning Mandalorian at his feet.
You had a good flow going here. You didn't [Expletive Deleted] around with flowery introductions, you didn't ruin it with cheesy dialogue and you got stuck in there with some excellently-described close quarters combat that almost made my eyes water in sympathy. However, it was marred by your spelling and grammar at times. Sort that [Expletive Deleted] out. RE-READ YOUR [Expletive Deleted]ING POSTS BEFORE POSTING. I cannot stress this enough. it is the only blemish on an otherwise exemplary post.
Overuse of the word 'Buckle' in the second para. Stop it.
Ending of the post = [Expletive Deleted]ing harsh. You're a bastard Juda, but you're my kind of bastard.
"the obvious style of Shii Cho evident" - if it's obvious, then it's evident. Careful you don't fall prey to Talos syndrome and try and cram your posts with words they don't need.
An unusual problem in the second paragraph - you change tense in one part. Is english not your first language, perchance?
You've got the technicals of writing in the ACC/AA down, but...there's no flare. This is just a breakdown of each move done; it isn't an ENTERTAINING read - it's just a read. You've got to work on making your prosaic style more ideosyncratic and user-friendly, rather than a means to an end.
Nothing too flashy or showy from either opponent. No fresh tactics used, minimal use or even reference to the environment - dialogue was painfully cliché. I think both of you have it in you to do better. And you'll both get there by RE-READING YOUR MOTHER[Expletive Deleted]ING POSTS BEFORE [Expletive Deleted]ING POSTING!
Jay gets the win - he was simply a better class of writer in this fight.
Juda = 12 Points
Jaecyn = 4 points