My completely unofficial review, analysis and critique:
Overall, not a bad piece. There were some tense change errors and a few runons—which, I assume, stemmed from missing commas—but from a grammatical and spelling standpoint the story was otherwise fine. I’d caution that you might want to watch repetition of the same sentence structure too often, but this is a nit-picky thing that I personally fail at rather routinely.
I would like to voice some moderate confusion, however, regarding exactly what is going on. I suspect that part of the issue is that I don’t possess the same knowledge of your character as you do, so my understanding of her motives and memories is obviously not going to be as clear as yours. However, I would like to point out that, for a good portion of the story, you refer to your subject simply as ‘she.’ This makes things rather unclear as to what ‘she’ you’re referring to, and provides for some confusion in interpreting exactly what is happening in the dreamlike memory the character is experiencing.
Another part of the problem is that I had difficulty, at first, in discerning exactly where the memory ended. Upon a second read through, it becomes clear that this is probably due to misplaced italics that begin after the abrupt “Devani was nowhere to be seen” line (which, I should point out, is a detail that really requires some explanation; it can really give a story some punch if the reader knows what’s going on, rather than just reading that a character inexplicably vanishes).
All in all, as I said, not a bad piece at all. Given that it was for a competition, I can understand the somewhat abrupt nature, but in my opinion the story is given much too little time to really gain momentum. Girl lands, girl has flashback, girl completes a ceremony with her long dead… somethings. But that illustrates my exact point; I wasn’t quite clear on the nature of her relationship with those who lived at the compound, or why the compound was attacked, or what a “Vtk-la” was (aside from an instant case of blood transmitted diseases, if the woman isn’t careful). So, in other words, for this story to be truly readable as a stand alone piece and allow the casual reader to actually know what’s going on, you need to flesh out the background some more.
All the above criticism is not intended to be unduly harsh or blunt, and I believe that it can actually help. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.