The Dark Side of Love

Ylith Pandemonium

09-09-2005 18:27:46

Hey all,

It's story about my character, Ylith, and
what would happen in a worst case scenario.

Ylith Falls in love, but the Dark Council won't like it.

The Jedi Hunter is accused for espionage and when he falls
in love and showing weakness seen by the Dark Side people
question him...

(Please note: story may change on the way ;) )

Chapter 1, the Jedi mission



07-10-2005 15:59:25


I like your story but there are some improvements, mostly grammatical in nature that could improve your story vastly. For instance, throughout the story you spell "through", as "trough". There is a couple other things, would you like me to put them down here on the message board or do you want them at all? ACO Devani


07-10-2005 18:49:57

hey kiddo :D nice one this is W8ing for the otherr ;)
as Devani said u need grammatical improvements.

Ylith Pandemonium

09-10-2005 05:24:40

Yeah I know my gammar has some flaws, but do note: I aint english
So english is my second language and I dont know every part of it, but I try ;)

So my thing is, just read it and enjoy the story, not the grammar



10-10-2005 18:23:34

Its a good story, very good for a your second language. If you ever need help editing, I'm a fiend for it. LOL :D

Ylith Pandemonium

11-10-2005 00:35:50

thanks I'll keep that in mind :)