Here's a story. Read and comment if you want. Only the first part's available, though. I'll add more over time. It'll get funnier.
Okay, here's part 2. I realized one of my chars is named after a battleteam. This was a coincidence.
Very nice, Ark. You obviously have no problem with attention to detail. A couple of things you could work on, though.
First, you must learn to embrace the spellchecker. I consider myself an above average speller, and I still make mistakes myself. It can be tough to spot them, especially when you are proofreading your own work.
My second suggestion is that you vary your sentence structure a bit. You are primarily relying on simple sentences, complimented by a few complex sentences, mostly during the dialogue. Try throwing a few 'and's into the narration, connect a few sentences with it. Simple sentences are fine, but if you rely on one structure, it becomes borring.
I look forward to the next edition. KotOR is one of my favorite fan-fic plots.
Oh, thx for the suggestions, BruGuy. I know, I'm still working on this like a 'sidedish.' I won't really update it until the 'big comps' are all done. Thanks for reading, though! ^_^
EDIT- Funny thing, I didn't really want anyone to read this. Kinda embarrasing later on. And I love KOTOR! I always go light, though...
*tyrus shamefully admits it*
the light side is more fun, cause bastila wont eat you
Bastila tries to eat you? *shocked* Lol, jk.