Year Of The Bob

Bob

13-01-2007 10:16:40

I was drowning in a pool of nostalgia for a few days before the eve of the New Year finally came around and the New Year reared its fledgling, deformed head. I forced myself to break through the crust that formed on my crotch and took a bath, much to the horror of the poor bathwater and tub. At last, I pulled my head out of my own ass and it occurred to me that the year past wasn't too bad.

We must appreciate the good things that have happened in yet another year thoroughly raped: CNS is still free and here for your entertainment; new drugs; teenagers have finally turned eighteen and legal for me, er, others to corrupt; last but not least, I've got new leaders ripe for the corrupting.

Rather than concoct a phony resolution list that I would've most certainly failed - I despise commitments - I thought I'd share with you my own list of things I will refuse to do this year:

1) Abstain from sex.

2) Settle for a 9-to-5 day job.

3) Tip at a restaurant.

4)Stop drinking.

5) Abstain from sex.

6) Eat healthy.

7) Wear underwear.

8) Go out of my way to be nice to people.

9) Treat others with respect.

10) Help people.

11) Learn from my mistakes.

12) Strive to be a better person.

13) Stop drinking.

14) Stop doing mind-altering drugs.

15) Stay in one place for too long.

16) Treat women as anything more than what they are - sex toys.

Try your best to refrain from showering me with your thanks for these words of wisdom (but if you must, you must) and fear not, my fellow sick CNSers, our army will stand united and prevail.

Here's to another year of trying to balance a life between an ever decreasing mind, obligations, raging addictions and obsession. Here's to another year of ever-changing weather and politicians wreaking havoc on what we call our lives and our land. Here's to another year of gluttony - of war, death, illness, life, and absolute power. I've a feeling that this year will be one helluva ride, and I'll be mercilessly riding this beast into sheer exhaustion and its inevitable death. The question is, are you ready for the ride?

-Bob

Macron Sadow

13-01-2007 14:45:31

Miss ya, Bob. Thanks for all you helped me with.
~mac

Ylith Pandemonium

25-01-2007 19:28:54

*raises a glass of beer* damn good speech man.