Xantros
26-04-2013 15:11:24
36 ABY, Cocytus, HSP throne world
The communication consolette in Xantros’ quarters on Judecca, as it signalized an incoming transmission as an urgent one. The Aedile of House Scholae Palatinae immediately left his work, as he expected to receive details on his mission from the Antei Contact Beaureu. As he read the message, it turned out that he was not mistaken. He could finally move out, but he had to utilize his contacts once again. Champions of Dunbar remained secret to him
Six hours later, aboard the Bucaneer, Judecca surface
Surprisingly, spies of the Dark Jedi Brotherhood were able to provide very few details on Champions of Dunbar. According to the data gathered, they were known of their anti-alien policy and, what was pretty strange, they were willing to start cooperation with the One Sith. However, there was no data about location of their headquarters or any other useful information. If Xantros wished to succeed with his contract, he needed to get more information and the only way to do so was to meet few of his old friends, who might know what he needed to learn. The first place to seek for the knowledge, which was necessary in that matter, was Invarri Station.
Without any further delays, the Krath Priest started launching procedures. “Control tower, this is the army commander. I request immediate permission to leave the planet.”
“Please, provide your clearance code,” replied the officer on duty.
“Delta-five-sigma-eight-epsilon-kappa-three,” spoke Xantros with calm voice.
“Clearance code accepted. Permission for leave granted.”
“Thank you. I am ready to go.”
It took Xantros just few seconds to complete the starting procedures and set off. Fortunately, the ship did not require much of pilot skills, as the computer did most of the job. Thanks to that, Xantros was able to set of very quickly, as he had no time to waste. The contract was waiting to be carried out and the Duro did not have much time to accomplish it. If he did not, he would probably suffer severe consequences. Consequences that might break his career and it was one of the last things he wanted to take place in his life.
Twenty four hours later, Invarri Station, undisclosed system
“CNC, it’s the Bucaneer. My approach code is: Elathir Ixi Arnh.”
“Your approach code has been accepted. Welcome Bucaneer. Follow the coordinates you have been provided.”
“Of course.”
Only after a while Xantros realized that they asked him to dock in hangar bay six, what was quite an unusual situation. Hangar bay six had always been utilized for stocking cargo or transfering people, who had particular meaning to the station, being either highly important or highly unwanted. Xantros wondered what the motives of such decision were, but he had not much time to think about it. As he docked and left the ship, he noticed a group of station guards and one of his contacts on the station.
“Welcome aboard, Delanhare,” spoke Xantros’ contact. “Please, follow us to your quarters.”
“Why all these means of security are necessary?” asked the Duro.
“We have received the word about your arrival. At the moment, there are people, who are not happy with your presence here. As you have never exposed our activities to the unwanted parties, we would like to make sure that you remain safe during your stay here.”
“Thank you, but I do not think it is necessary. I am able to protect myself.”
“We are aware that you are quite…efficient, when it comes to defending yourself. However, even the best soldiers are not able to defend themselves against an overwhelming number of enemies of similar abilities.”
“Thank you for your warning. I will keep an eye on myself.”
“Very well, then. Please, follow me. We will discuss our matters in a more appropriate time.”
“As you wish.”
Xantros was led by his contact and the guards through the corridors, which were located in the area of the station, which was usually out of use. Definitely, they believed that he was in real danger and station’s reputation would be severely harmed, if any of its guests were killed during the making bussinesses on the station. Finally, half an hour later, Xantros entered his quarter. Two guards remained outside, while the others simply walked away.
“Don’t you think leaving these two guards in front of my quarters will just attract the possible killers, whoever they are?” asked the Duro.
“These guards are just a warning for them. Despite making an impression of tough guys, they will never dare to mess up with the station rulers. They are aware of the possible consequences.”
Indeed, the consequences of such a foolish actions would be severe. Each guest had to provide a unique approach code upon arrival to the system, before he or she would be given a clear passage. If anyone would be in conflict with the rulers of the station, their codes would be deactivated and system would recognize them as hostile forces, activating the defence grid and destroying the enemy ships. Gaining new codes would be almost impossible. In that way, criminals against the station would lose an excellent place to make their arrangements far from the eyes of justice and spies. Something very few individuals and organisations would be satisfied with taking place.
“I hope so,” spoke Xantros. “When could we speak about our own matters?”
“I guess even now, my friend,” spoke the human. “We are in the room, which is protected from any known way to eavesdrop our discussion. All bugs and tapping devices do not work here, because of both jamming device and specific radation, which affects such devices. We have complete ptivacy here.”
“Good. What information do you have for me?”
“The mercenaries you are looking for are here. They arrived here two days ago to meet with a strange guy. I know nothing about him, but both he and these mercenaries have provided suitable approach codes. However, it remains unknown how did they gained them, because the guy, who certified their good intentions have never met them and have never dealt with such people before. I do not know how did they manage to convince him to provide them support and I am afraid that we will never learn this.”
“He is dead, right?”
“Yes. He have left our station and jumped to the hyperspace. Few hours later, we have received a coded message, which stated that he has been somehow poisoned. It was pretty fast poison, because it was clearly visible that he was dying in pain. You really should not meet with them.They smell like a bantha.”
“I have to. My superiors wish me to establish contact with these mercenaries and make sure that they work for us. You know what it is like. I do not get my job done, I do not get my payment. What else do you know about these guys?
“They have strong anti-human affiliation, what makes them even more dangerous too you. Still, they seem to work for these, who pay more or are stronger. You know, either get extra price or extra protection. Either way, they gain what they want.”
“Yes, this information may be quite useful during my negotiations with the Champions of Dunbar,” spoke Xantros. “Thank you very much. I shall transfer the payment to your account at once.”
The Duro walked to the consolette and connected with the Aurish Bank, where the account with funds for the mission was located. Immediately ordered to transfer five thousand credits to the anonymous account in another bank. Few minutes later, he received confirmation of transfering funds.
“Done,” spoke Xantros. “Thanks once again. Your information are as useful as always.”
The human nodded and handed Xantros a datapad, which included personal data on the Champions of Dunbar present on the station., before leaving the room. The Krath Priest sat on the only bed, which was as luxurious as the room itself. There were still few hours remaining to the meeting with the mercenaries, so the Duro had enough time to learn more about his potential allies. Finally, with most of the details in his mind and a general plan how to convey his offer, he rushed to the meeting room, chosen by the Champions of Dunbar.
On his way to the meeting room, Xantros sensed something strange. Slight disturbance in the Force. Presence of another Force user. Something, Xantros did not know who was that, just sensed that the presence in the Force was tainted with the Dark Side, though the Duro was not able to determine exact power of the Force user.
As informed by his source, there were six Champions of Dunbar and their companion present. Taking a brief look at him, Xantros immediately recognized that the tall, well-built man with black hair and brown eyes was not a mercenary. A Force user, whom he sensed earlier. The One Sith member, who was probably trying to convince the mercenaries to join his organisation. Not an extremely powerful one. Not an extremely weak one. Physically, the human was definitely a bit stronger and faster than the Duro was, but it seemed like if he was weaker in the terms of the Force.
“So, the One Sith got to them earlier. I wonder what did he tell them,” thought the Krath Priest.
“You are not late. Good. We’ll make the deal sooner,” spoke the oldest human, who seemed to be the leaders of the Champions of Dunbar.
“I hope so.”
“What do you want from us?”
“My…organisation would like to establish a long-term cooperation with the Champions of Dunbar.”
“And they have sent an alien to negotiate with us?”
“We know that you are considering cooperation with the One Sith. There are numerous alien beings in this group too.”
“At least, they have sent a human to negotiate with us.”
“I am not surprised with this fact, but you will have to deal not only with humans. Also, I believe that we have more to offer you. As a side note, we have defeated the One Sith forces on four planets already.”
“Is it true?” the leader’s question was directed to the Force user.
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Why haven’t you told us?”
“These loses have been small, insignificant obstacles on our way to supremacy. They will not prevent us from conquering the Galaxy. Our final victory, even if slightly delayed, shall be extremely beneficial for our allies.”
Xantros felt slight waves of the Dark Side energies flowing from the mind of the One Sith to the mind of Champions of Dunbar leader. Still, it seemed that the man possessed very strong will, as he resisted to whatever action the One Sith took up.
“We will see. I want to see you two fight. We will ally with the winner’s side.”
Both Xantros and the human nodded after a moment of hesitation. None of them had predicted such course of action, but they had no other choice. They had to fight, as they both wanted to have the Champions of Dunbar on their own side.
“I’ll arrange the deal with the rulers of the station,” spoke Xantros. “You will be allowed to check the place of the fight for the sake of fairness, but it’ll take me some time. We shall meet in the place agreed by station’s council as soon as it is ready.”
“Very well, then,” agreed the member of the One Sith.
Three hours later, Invarri Station, training room
Ten people have entered the training room of Invarri Station security staff. Champions of Dunbar, the member of the One Sith, two overseers of the station’s council and Xantros. Both Dark Jedi were wearing comfortable black robes, provided by the station’s council.
“Per request of the Champions of Dunbar, Xantros has invoked Ardi-Shakh, our traditional way to deal with disagreements and conflicts. Each of the participants is allowed to choose one weapon, but it is not necessary. Xantros has chosen to wield no weapon. Verdan Arroth has decided to utilize his own ser’tok. The fight continues until one side surrenders or is unable to fight. Proceed.”
Xantros carefully observed his opponent and took similar position to him, choosing Tu’rek as the most suitable fighting style for that duel. Both Dark Jedi were moving on a perfect circle, as the Duro made exactly the same moves as his enemy. He did not know any fighting technique, which would utilize ser’tok, which was a durasteel weapon with a semi-circle blade and straight grip, which joined two ends of the blade. He had to be careful, as he did not know what to expect from his opponent. The Force was the only weapon, which he could utilize against his enemy, as he did not want to reveal the fact that he owned a lightsaber.
Suddenly, the human slashed from Xantros’ right arm to his left hip, but the Krath Priest managed to avoid the attack by jumping back. The Duro still observed his enemy, searching for any weakness in human’s defence, as he was taught, when trained the Makashi Form. After two or three minutes of avoiding strikes, Xantros noticed that his opponent was slightly hobbling. It was almost invisible and only an intent observer could notice it.
“It is my chance,” thought Xantros. “One precise strike into his knee should make him unable to defend himself for few seconds. Long enough for me to finish the fight before he manages to slice me into pieces.”
The Duro focused quickly and stroke the right knee of his opponent through the Force[OBL]. The human screamed in pain and dropped the ser’tok on the ground. Xantros run towards it and pulled it with the Force to grab it with his hand. Three precise strikes ended up the duel, as four parts of the body of the One Sith fell on the ground.
Breathing heavily, the Krath Priest looked at the leader of the Champions of Dunbar. “I believe that it makes our deal, am I correct?”
“I think so. We will side with your organisation, as promised. Honestly, if it consists of more people like you, even if they are aliens, like you are, it would be foolish to make them our enemies.”
“I am glad to hear that. I will relay your decision to my superiors and we shall meet here in five days, so that we may discuss the details of our further cooperation.”
“Only if you serve as the liason between us and your superiors.”
“I will see what can be done with this, but I cannot guarantee anything. In a meanwhile, I'll take this with myself," spoke Xantros and grabbing the ser'tok.
The leaders of the Champions of Dunbar nodded and they left the training room. Xantros sighed with relief, as his mission was completed with success. Now, he had to report back to Grand Master Pravus to inform him about the status of the mission.
Marick
07-05-2013 19:22:38
Contract 006: Complete
Mission:
Accomplished
Debriefing:
The Champions of Dunbar have joined forces with the Brotherhood instead of One Sith, thus aiding in the Brotherhoods campaign against the One Sith organization.
Comments:
Considering that English is not your first language, this is a very well constructed fiction, Xan. I was impressed with your story arch's, how you created characters and gave them some sense of life and emotion.
On a technical level, it was hard to read at some points because of glaring grammatical errors, tense use, and syntax. You also used a ACC [] tag at one point, which isn't needed in something like this. As the ACB is primarily designed as a tool to help you with your writing, I can honestly say that if you had sat down with another member and had them go through your story with you word by word, you'd come out with a much more polished piece of writing.
However, you told an interesting story and touched on elements that were engaging for a reader. I would have loved a bit more spice and flavor in terms of describing environments, but still enjoyed the story all around. For this, you earn a "Satisfactory" ranking, but still have some work to do to help get you to that next level. I believe sitting down with a proof-reader would be most beneficial, try reaching out to your House-mates. Don't be afraid to share your work, I had my writing torn to pieces for years by Timeros and Invictus (both very talented writers). Good luck, and look forward to reading more contracts from you
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Grade:
B-Class = 2 points;
"Satisfactory" Contract = 2 points;
Total = 4 points.