OFH Quickie #2 - Howie's Day Off

Backstory
DJM Howlader is a lazy s.o.b at the best of times. He sleeps during war, whines about flying into battle, and tends to communicate in grunts and snores. But, he's still the Old Folks' Home best answer for a crazy pilot.

Since the Crusade is now in a lull, Howie has taken advantage of the quiet to take a day off... and Ben is seriously concerned about what mayhem the old man might create.

Competition Overview
On the competition start date, a Run-On will be started (and stickied) on the Taldryan Forums. Participants will post in single-sentences to tell the story of Howie's day off.

Winners will be decided based on two factors: the hilarity of their posts, and their overall contributions to the plot. Remember to sign up for the competition on the DB site!

Run On Rules
1) Posts should only be one sentence in length!
2) No double posting! Allow 2-3 other participants to post in between your posts.
3) Turn off signatures

Deep, deep within the Old Folks' Home, Howlader was fast asleep like a drunk, angry baby when, with a snort, he suddenly awoke from his slumber and realized he had an entire day off without Benevolent around to watch him.

"Muahahahaha," Howie cackled to himself, before seeing that Tarax had left the television screen still on in the other room.

As Howie came closer to the holo-projector - which he mistakenly mistook for a television, by mistake - he was able to make out the shapes that were digitally bouncing around every-which-way.

Confused as to whatever madness just had addled his brain, ever so briefly, the old man realized that it might just be possible—however unlikely—that Benevolent may have left one of his contraptions unguarded.

Gleefully tapping his fingers together, Howlader made his way over to the device to get a closer look at it.

Mischief twinkled in the aging master's black, beady eyes as he started pressing the shiny buttons.

The twinkle grew larger then a giant pandas eye, "What's this," he says to himself after seeing a button labelled, "ULTIMATE PWNAGE".

Suddenly, a growling wail filled the room, causing the hirsute old man to jump in alarm, apparently, Ben's warning systems were still being installed on all of his little toys.

His attention only being able to follow one thing at a time; the device fell from Howie's hands to the floor with the sound of crunching parts his attention moved to the alarms in awe.

A bead of drool fell from his mouth as the alarm slowly tapered off, leaving his focus returned to the oh-so-shiny electronic components strewn on the floor.

With a thump Howlader sat on the floor and began trying to see if he could piece the various pieces together and see what would happen.

A mix of emotions ranging from glee to drunken-rage filtered across Howlader's face as he rummaged through the shattered contraption, separating the various color-coated wires and paying special attention to the red ones.

Pulling a bottle of ale from his robes, removing his pantaloons and letting out a chuckle; the man had to admit that Ben always had the most fun toys.

"What in the hell are you doing!" came an authoritarian voice from behind Howlader.

The old master lazily turned around to see the bearded and very disappointed face of Keirdagh Cantor, Taldryan's Aedile and Howlader's life long friend.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Howie," the Aedile said, stroking his heavenly beard.

"Why the hell are you breaking Ben's toys again?" queried the old man, "You know how much he pouts when you touch them."

"You're not my supervisor!" Howie screamed as he threw down the items he was playing with and promptly stomped out of the room.

Howie stomped outside and started kicking a nearby tree like an angry child and shouted "no one ever let's me have any fun!"

"There, there, my son," spoke a sagely and scratchy voice from behind him.

Suddenly he felt an oblong object press against his back, which stirred conflicted feelings within him.

"my my what a big lightsaber you have there Ben",Howie thought to himself aloud.

"Not a lightsaber," Ben intoned, pressing the object harder into the soft-, supple back of Howlader.

The Panda licked his fur lined lips in anticipation, before slowly turning around.

"It is a stun baton," the Obelisk Adept commented as he zapped Howlader into a drool producing state of unconsciousness.

"Bffftyhuuuuuuuzzzzz whhhhaaaathmmmpppp..." was all Howie could get out as he lay twitching on the ground at Benevolent's feet.

Benevolent then lifted howie with the force and shook him around like a British nanny shakes babies

That's when Howie woke up with a snort and realized the entire episode had been a strange (and surprisingly hurtful) dream.

THE END :P