Stupid Jokes And Limericks

Macron Sadow

05-09-2007 21:49:20

Alright folks, let's have some fun. I started this thread with the idea in mind of sharing dumb jokes, good jokes, limericks, and humor among the Clan. Laughter is good. In any case, keep it PG please for the membership at large, etc.



In that vein:

What is flat and lives in the middle of the road?
A. An Opossum

Devani

06-09-2007 05:16:13

Hmmm I made this up and its dumb! And made me laugh...whilst being very very...drunk.

Sith rule, Jedi drool.

I know, I know, I am blessed with talent :D

Macron Sadow

09-09-2007 18:55:45

There once was a Sith from Thule
He was mean, and very uncool
he fought Vader one day
In the usual way
and now he he floats dead in the pool

Macron Sadow

11-09-2007 18:03:53

Keep it PG please. No sexual refs. I just deleted an inappropriate post. And- STAR WARS related for the comp that is running right now.

Ylith Pandemonium

12-09-2007 06:45:52

oh c'mon...jeez..americans...

fine then..


SITH: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
SITH: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

SITH: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
SITH: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

SITH: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
SITH: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
SITH: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
SITH: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
SITH: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
SITH: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
SITH: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

SITH: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
___________________________________________
SITH: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you [Expletive Deleted]t'in me?
_________________________________________

SITH: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
SITH: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
____________________________________________

SITH: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
SITH: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
SITH: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you [Expletive Deleted]t'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

SITH: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
SITH: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
____________________________________________
SITH: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
SITH: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
SITH: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

SITH: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________

SITH: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

SITH: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
SITH: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________

SITH: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

SITH: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
SITH: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
SITH: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
SITH: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
SITH: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
SITH: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Scyrone

30-09-2007 18:09:19

Who do the Light Jedi worship?
George Lucas

Why?
Because if it wasn't for him we all would've pwnd them by now.

Aegeus

02-10-2007 20:20:56

What do you get when you cross a Wookie and a Storm Trooper?
A knocked out Storm Trooper