Sbm Zandro Erinos Vs. Grd Driftan Housan

Sashar glanced around the newly created Arcona Arena, a swell of pride threatening to spill out into a smile over his features before he regained composure and turned to the two combatants, both standing before him, the tension veritably bubbling forth from them in the force.

“Zandro, you have brought a lightsaber and a WESTAR 34 Blaster Pistol. Driftan, you have brought a Sith Sword. Remember, no fatalities. Go!” The Consul ordered, stepping back, giving the two Arconans room to move, and to fight.

Zandro looked over at his opponent as Sashar stepped outside of the Erinos' peripheral vision and contemplated the man that stood before him. Driftan had only joined Arcona recently, but had proven to be a rising star within the Clan, someone whose future looked very bright indeed. However, Zandro knew that the potential for greatness was not enough; one had to have the strength and the courage to take the opportunities they were given in order to become great. The Arconae did not know if Driftan had the ability to fulfill his potential, but the fact that he was willing and seemingly unafraid to go toe to toe with the Battlemaster showed that, if nothing else, he had balls.

Unfortunately for you, balls won't win this fight.

Nodding once at the Battleteam Leader, Zandro's hand dropped to the blaster strapped to his thigh and brought it up, firing as the weapon rose to send bolts flying out. The energy blasts tracked their way towards the Guardian who was diving to the side in order to escape the bolts that were flying his way. Zandro kept firing as his aim followed the rapidly evading Qel-Droman, only ceasing fire when the other combatant managed to get behind one of the Arenas pillars. Smirking at his opponent's naievety Zandro swiftly holstered the blaster and unclipped his lightsaber from his belt and strode forwards. As he reached the pillar he brought the saber up, placed the emitter of the weapon roughly where he thought his opponent to be standing and thumbed the blade on. The crimson shaft of energy cut through the granite pillar in nanoseconds and emerged from the other side, illiciting a yelp of pain from the Guardian as Zandro found his mark. Deactivating the saber and strafing around the pillar, Zandro only just managed to dodge a strike from his opponent's Sith sword before dancing backwards just out of range. Looking closely at his opponent, Zandro noticed that the blade had pierced the shoulder of his opponent, equidistant between his neck and his arm. The Sith knew that the blow would not really impede Driftan's movement, but would hurt like all hell and for that, at least, he was thankful.

Not a completely wasted strike then.

Smirking at his opponent, Zandro performed a mock salute with his unlit saber before basking momentarily in the roars of the crowd that swirled around him. However, his moment of ego tripping passed as his opponent moved forwards, Sith sword swinging in a vicious looking blow.

Sword play was something Driftan had always enjoyed learning growing up, but the intensive studies since he had joined the Brotherhood would hopefully pay off as he faced off against his obvious superior. The tip of the Sith sword slashed and diced around Zandro's body, but the Kartranin master was able to guess the moves of his Kartranin counterpart. To the crowd it was almost as if they were watching an exhibition being put on by two masters who wanted to show of their moves rather than actually fight, but the power and force put behind each move showed that these two warriors meant what they were doing.

One particular slice saw Driftan's blade narrowly miss connecting with Zandro's right arm, but at the last moment, Zadro sidestepped the move and pushed Driftan's sword off just an inch [TES] sending the attacker off balance and giving Zandro a chance to send a powerful punch [EHA] straight into Driftan's ribs. The punch was staggering and the shock waves ripped through Drifan's body, but he maintained enough composure to allow the force of the blow to guide him down and sweep the legs out from under Zandro.

The Battlemaster thought his opponent might try such a move and was ready for it. With a back handspring, Zandro moved out of the reach of the Guardian, the crowd sending up a roar of approval to the acrobatic display. A quick bow showed Zandro's appreciation and flare for the dramatic, but he was once again ready for battle as Driftan once again charged at him.

Zandro once again pulled his pistol out and began firing at the approaching Guardian. Left out in the open, Driftan had no other choice than to call upon the Force to guide his actions [DDG] and trust that the Sith Sword would be able to deflect the incoming shots. The Kartranin master was able to deflect the first few shots, but his training eventually let him down, with one of the blaster bolts making it through and grazing his right arm, something that would need weeks worth of meditation to heal.

With Driftan's attack suppressed for the moment for the time being, Zandro knew it was time for him to take the offensive. "It's my turn now, boy."

Zandro:
Good opening paragraph.

You're doing that thing with the word 'bolts' again... =p

"Arenas pillars" should = "Arena's pillars".

"moment" and "momentarily" in the same para. Stop it

Good use of tactics - realistic and not too damaging to the flow of the batte. Put simply, you're not whaling on the GRD early on and making it a very short and boring battle. Solid effort.

Driftan;
Excellent reference to the Hand to hand styles coming into play. However, if your character or your opponent are using the force, then you need to annotate it. Minor hiccup there.

Same issue as Zandro here. you use 'once again' twice in two sentence and it trips up the reader, interrupting an otherwise excellently maintained flow. With a style as detailed and eloquent as yours, you don't want to interrupt momentum.

You're not god-moding, which is a refreshing change, however you're falling on a classic error - there are a fair few minor grammar issues and partially-corrected sentences that could have easily been caught if you'd read your post through before putting it up. Don't get caught out by that in future.

Also, a minor factual thing here: you've got Zandro referring to Driftan as a 'boy' - Driftan has about 4 years on Zandro, so that's highly unlikely

Overall:

This was kinda close. Both had spelling, grammar and general flow issues, but overall were good posts. Both had decent use of tactics and adherance to Character sheets. It came down to the errors themselves. Zandro's weren't as major or as numerous as Driftan's, so the win goes to him.

Zandro = 12 points

Driftan = 4 points