History of Kraval Novir

here's a little something I wrote up to describe my character

http://www.krath.org/writing/The_History_of_Kraval_Novir.htm

Hey Krav,

Your a good gamer and amazing as it is an awsome story-teller. You used quick diction and action packed plot that really made this section shine. It was detailed enough yet kept from being verbose. Although the only flaws that I noticed where in the story's plot. For example would a teacher truely have contact with Vader so easily? Would Vader not have more important things to do than overseeing the capture of force sensitives? Also would such valuable children be trained merely as a counter-rebellion maritime production raiders instead of skilled assasins and operatives for the emperor? It worked fine in the story but in my opinion a bit unbelievable, but thats just me being picky. Sorry to say that but I really really enjoyed that story. To be honest the funnest read on this board yet!

KP Octa